Am I being too needy, or is he just using me?

Been with this guy since January. In the beginning, he and I did cuddle and actually wanted to be around another. Now, we seem to be just roommates.

In my perfect bubble, I want to be able to sit on a couch to cuddle. Even if it leads to more, I am fine with that. Love the random kisses and be able to compliment each other.

It all seems one sided. I might get a compliment once a month. And us cuddling, I have to initiate it. When I lay on him, he doesn't move his arm to make it more comfortable. I can say I am cold, and that does not say anything to him. He recently separated our couch/chase. I originally would sit on the chase, but he never asked me to sit with him. I took it upon myself to start sitting beside him. He would only lay on me to mess with our dog. As of last night, he grabbed his cover and charger and migrated to the chase. I said, "You don't want to sit beside me?" He just said, "I just don't want to sit there anymore." That kind of stung.

The only time we touch is when he wants to be playful and pick on me and to have sex on his time (once a week, in the living room). I still have an adult dress I let him pick out that he has not vocalized any interest in seeing since Thanksgiving.

I am 28 and he is 31, should it be this out of sync? I drive him to and from work everyday and he has no one here in KY. Could he be using me to have a place to live and a ride to work?

And before anything decides to be rude about my physical appearance. I am a plus size female, but I have a pretty face (use to be annoyed to hear, but now appreciate). Have had a few guys hit on me and want to be physically involved, but I can't.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok this is prob gonna sting but I just don't think he's that into you. In the beginning he would cuddle w you but now he does not? That shows that in general he has the potential to be an affectionate person just chooses not to do so w you. If he was really feelin you he would wanna be close to you, hold your hand, put his arm around you, cuddle w you, and have sex w you a lot more frequent then once a week. I would bring these concerns up to him and let him know how important this is to you. If you are at all important to him then he will try and change this behavior and if not then you need to leave him cause he just really doesn't give a sh*t about you.

    • The only time he ever wants to be remotely like a boyfriend, it is outside of home. When it comes to being intimate between and I, it seems to be non-existent.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This relationship sounds horrible and unhealthy. You're better off alone.

  • hes not as interested in you as he once was. better off kicking him out now. the fact that he's pulling away so openly should have alarm bells ringing.

    • Could health reasons contribute in any way possible? Possible hernia issues, laborious job, being 390lbs?

    • Show All
    • How can I be less needy? I try to distance myself, but he will notice it and do nothing about it. He will ask me what is wrong, but I don't want to bombard him with the reason. I have been bringing this issue up for months.

    • your needy becausedeep down you want him to know , but don't want to tell him yourself. just raise the issue with him, tell him to get his own car, and be prepared for him to move out.

What Girls Said 1

  • He's certatinly not interested in you as more than a friend/f*** buddy... so yeah, I'd say it's leaning towards him using you. You should probably get out of it for now, what's it really giving you anyway?

    • His half of money.

      What is funny about this whole ordeal was how we started. He was my FWB, but he dug himself into my life and wanted more than just a sexual relationship. He was crazy about me, and now it is just fizzled down. Now I feel like a mom taking him to/from work.

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