Your friend thinking you aren't good enough?

You know...she thinks you're a catch for someone else, but not her and she'd rather date random guys online.

What's weird is that I thought I had been out of friend zone the whole time since we never talked on the phone, always teased each other, never talked about relationships or shared deep secrets with each other.

For some reason, it hurts more coming from someone I know than someone I don't know. How can I deal with that? How do I deal with her now? I don't want to hear about the randoms she is dating or is gonna date in the future.


Most Helpful Guy

  • She's not attracted to you physically or emotionally, or both. She's not going to give you a completely honest answer as to why, but it could be any number of reasons. She could think you're clingy, too emotional, sees you as a little brother, etc, doesn't care for your face/build, etc.

    Your best bet is to cut her off completely. You're going to get very jealous seeing her date a bunch of random guys. Why give her the benefit of having your emotional support when she doesn't like you back? The only men who get in the friend zone are the ones who allow themselves to stay there. Instead, go date some other women and ignore her and don't hang out with her. If she wants other men, you can't stop her, but you can stop from torturing yourself and having her do this.

    Man up and move on. Time to find a new girl that is into you and finds you attractive and emotionally engaging. Cut off all contact with the old girl and allow yourself to be open to new possibilities. You can't just be "friends" with her, as that will never work.

    • the problem is that we have a couple mutual friends. I've pretty much cut her out already, but I know some of the stuff I say to the mutual friends will get back to her and I'll probably get "updates" on her dating life inadvertently from those friends, too.

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    • I talked to her for the first time in a few weeks the other day. It was her who initiated and since I was waiting for my friend, I talked to her. It was about dumb stuff like school, and we talked for like 3-5 minutes. I hope I didn't mess anything up by doing that, but I felt it would be worse if I just ignored her.

    • You don't have to act butt hurt. Just relax and be friendly, if not overtalkative. Let your dating or other life exploits get back to her via the mutual friends, no need to brag or compete. Let her make a few mistakes if she needs to date randoms. It will be a bit sad, but you can't stop her. Who knows, perhaps she'll find a decent guy? In the mean time, you have other girls to work on.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Are you talking about me? lol I've def been in her shoes... When you become less available to her now because things have changed she'll notice.. prob won't do anything about it because she wants your attention but not sexually at least right now.. When she see's you being confident and giving other women attention and dating someone else seriously and are then able to be friendly with her again.. She'll think twice.. If that makes you feel any better..

    • doesn't really, since I've been distant to her for a while now and she doesn't seem to care.

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    • we don't even make eye contact now

    • and she's aware of that too.. probably feels rejected as a friend.. you won't likely ever be with her but she will secretly be curious about you now that you don't give her any attention.. If you said hi and didn't engage in conversation with her she would feel it

  • tell her the truth. explain how you feel about her. if she's anyone to keep around she will open up and tell you how she feels too. her reaction to what you say will show if you should keep her around.


What Guys Said 1

  • You're giving too much power to her over your happiness, self-esteem, and confidence. Honestly, I know she's a friend but who cares what other people think about you especially from someone who would rather have random hook ups.

    SHE'S the one missing out NOT YOU. Find someone who likes you for who you are and she may regret it...she will regret.