How to tell a guy you feel neglected by him?

i have been dating this guy for a while but it isn't so serious. at first he made me feel special, he contacted me pretty much every day. then I called things off and I wasn't so good at explaining myself (it was personal reasons that were related to him but I didn't know how to explain it to him)

we started talking again, went out a few times. but, he doesn't contact me as much as he used to. mostly only to make plans with me. sometimes he will text me, but not nearly as often as before. mostly only to make plans or once in awhile see how I'm doing. he isn't getting sex from me and never has thus far.

i am not very happy right now because when we are together I feel like he is into me and he does make plans with me sometimes but he used to text and call all the time!

how can I tell him this without making him feel like I am nagging?

i do text him too but he used to text me a lot more. I don't want to be the one running after him.

should I just ask him how he feels about me and tell him I don't know if he is into me anymore? and then say "i used to hear from you a lot more and that made me happy, but I don't hear from you as much anymore" or something like that?

i am quick to jump to conclusions, so I want to actually talk it out with him first, even if I don't like my answers.

how do I say this without annoying him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Honey... he doesn't trust you. He was crazy about you and everything was going well and you "called things off"? How do you expect him to react? Did you expect him to just forget about you breaking up with him for a reason that you didn't explain? I wouldn't even get back with someone who did that to me. The way I see it, you're lucky and you should do some running after that. You can't just walk away and then expect him to pick up all the work the minute you come back. Do some running, do some grovelling, make him trust you again.

    If he were the one posting his side of the story I would have told him to break things off. I'm not going to lie here.

    Nagging and being annoying are the last things you need to worry about right now. Call him, plan dates, text him all the time. If you want things to go back to how they were and you like this guy, put the effort in, you're the one that screwed it up.

    • i called it off because I wasn't sure how he felt about me and I was worried he only wanted sex from me. I thought he would stop talking to me. but he didn't and it seemed like he cared more than I thought and I really missed him.. so then I apologized to him and I told him I am sorry and I made a mistake and I missed him. he was okay with that and said not to worry about it. we weren't exclusive anyway. I guess I should tell him how I feel then.

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    • he talked about it a lot, kept asking when we could. he just wasn't such a nice guy all around, he was pretty bossy and all. I just got a certain impression off him that all he cared about was sex. that's what my instinct tells me anyway.

    • If he wasn't a nice guy then he wasn't a nice guy. If he was asking for sex then he probably just wanted sex. My apologies for saying it was your fault, you didn't mention that he had actually asked and wasn't a nice guy. In that scenario, I would say he is just trying to use you and you probably shouldn't go back to him, find someone that will want to commit to you and make you happy.

What Girls Said 1

  • He isn't into you. Stringing you along in case he gets a little nookie.

    • well, that's how I've been feeling lately. I am at the point where I am assuming I should just move on for my own sake but I have always been bad at communicating how I feel and I just want to hear the truth about where we are going from him. is it better to just stop talking to him and see how much he comes after me or not? or talk to him? it's at that point where I am ready to move on anyway. I just see him coming to me at his own convenience and I don't want to give him that.

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    • He isn't putting effort in because he is worried that she is just going to call everything off again for seemingly no reason. What's the point of the effort if she will just run off again. He likes her and wants things to work, but he is cautious and for what I would call a good reason.

    • @marshnewb, If you would like to answer the question yourself there is a way to do that. You go to the top of the page and fill in the box. Then push Preview Answer then submit!