What is the motive?

A guy I have known for a year decided to stay over from Sunday Night till Tuesday Morning.

A roommate of mine offered him a ride back to campus , but he insisted on staying. He slept on the couch that night and he stayed the next day..

we talked for 16 hours straight just laying down in my bed doing nothing. we did kiss, and cuddle but we didn't have sex

what was his motive if he didn't get sex? why didn't he just leave when my friend offered him a ride multiple times?



Most Helpful Guy

  • Hello there.

    Very good question you've asked. It really depends on what his motive was. Which in this case, would be pretty difficult for any of us guys to answer, do to one major fact which is; We don't know this guy. So to help you out; It could be for any motive possible.

    So maybe you can run down a list of motives you can think of, and check them off one by one. If you are flattered by the fact you didn't have sex with him and he was still willing to sit, talk, and cuddle, then understand, his motive has nothing to do with anything. You just feel an amazing feeling from you being able to talk, cuddle, and kiss, and not have someone expecting, then pushing sex on you. And it probably made you feel special, wanted, and respected. And that's a good thing.

    So maybe your question could've been more along the lines of; Is it possible for a guy to sit, cuddle, and kiss, and not want or expect sex?

    As far as his motives, whatever it was he wanted to do, it was done, and he was satisfied with that, and if I were you, I would take it from there. Guys are slick, and some may have motives, but not all guys. He could've just been a really cool guy, or his motives may be to go further one day. Either way, what's going to be, will be. For now, if the moments meant any bit of good to you, then embrace that, and don't kill it by worrying yourself about his motives.

    I hope this help... Be safe, one love

    • As much as I would like to think that, there is one thought that is lingering around.

      We had a "casual" relatioship last year and it was fine. This year started and we have been talking a bit and we hung out recently, and that's what happened.

      At first, when he came over, I just thought we were going to hang out as friends..

      he inched his way closer to me and eventually was holding my hand, while my roommate was there

      later, we stayed up and talked. Went to bed. He woke me up to talk

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What Guys Said 3

  • Its probably because he likes you and because he just enjoyed being around you he chose to stay. Its not always about sex with guys, us good ones are more interested in the individual talents instead of the sexual talents. These are the guys you should always associate yourself with, not the ones who are over keen to get into your knickers,x

    • well, we have had previous relations before , so that's why I was so confused about the situation

    • Could be that he still respects you as a person regardless of your previous relationship with him,x

  • So what if he didn't get sex?

    A proper investment needs time and effort.



    Just maybe he really enjoyed cuddling with you and talking about about life?

    • hah I feel like there was something behind it. WE have been friends for a year or so.

    • Show All
    • I would say we had a FWB relationship. We both liked each other, I just ended up leaving our school for a bit. I didn't return until this year.

    • Well, naturally, the end goal of any interaction with a girl that a guy thinks is hot...is sex.

      But in the mean time, he was just enjoying chilling with you.

      Why is that so bad?

  • to get close to you. Motive is sex but it is better when it is your ideal.


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