Why can't I meet some nicer guys?

So I've dated two guys in the course of 3 months both have started out amazing! Super sweet to me and were great about talking to me often etc. The minute they don't get what they want (sex) cause I don't go there with a guy unless he is my boyfriend and its at least 1-2 months into the relationship. They find that out and they just stop talking to me. Which really sucks cause I liked these guys a lot, one I actually gave my number to him! It's hard to not start putting up walls. It deff makes you feel like the nice compliments etc weren't really sincere it was to get some. Yah know what I mean? Am I doing anything wrong? Is this something I should say on date one so there is no confusion?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I believe that men worth considering don't need to be told that on date one, because they know that you'll tell them when you are ready. But yeah, it seems that a lot of guys nowadays take up the sweet talk front to get down with you and quite possibly leave without a word after or maybe even they start acting mean towards you. But I'd say these genuine nice guys are starting to change into the more cocky types of guys out there, because hey those cocky guys seem to always get some while "being nice" strategy seems to not be working at all since women tend to dismiss them or at least so I have heard.

    • I totally agree, that saying nice guys finish last applies to women as well so I'm learning haha. I don't play hard to get or text a guy a million times. Or ignore him just to make him worried. I'm nice, if I like you I show you. And it seems like guys are looking for more of the "easy" girls and the meaner ones! I'm out of luck if that's the case, cause I'm certainly not going to change how I am!

    • It's better not to change, at least in my opinion, because changing will just make you lose your sence of self and any "reward" you get is lost, because you can't really enjoy it, because you didn't be yourself when getting it. I mean sort of like using illegal drugs to boost your speed,strenght etc in sports. But I do believe that while yes, men do tend to nowadays look more for the "easy" and extremely hard to get girls, the "nice" girls still have more of a chance than the nice guys do.

    • I certainly won't change :) just have to find a nice guy then to match my nice girl personality! haha

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What Guys Said 3

  • It sounds like you're doing the right things... you're keeping guys at a distance until they've proven they want more than just sex. And it's working because you're scaring away the creepers.

    Perhaps you need to pay better attention to the way these guys give you attention... because creepers looking for sex tend to have a lack of sincerity in their compliments and a lack of congruity.

    By learning to notice these signs (where they are seeming fake) you might be able to filter them out even faster without having to date them first.

    Be patient and choose your men wisely. :)

    ~ Robby

    • Yeah true, It's working haha! You're right I need to work on telling if its sincere or not, you always hope it is but obviously most of it isnt! You live and you learn :) Thanks!

  • Bad luck.

    You see - luck is everything. It shapes your life, your relationships, everything. And it's totally random.

    As you said - building walls is pointless, because then you might miss a good catch. The first impression always deceives, it takes time to find out what people are like and you should be glad you found out it early, it's better than too late.

    • So true, just gotta keep looking then :)

  • "So I've dated two guys in the course of 3 months" well there's your problem

    • Lol not by choice! I don't date a guy with the mentality that oh I hope this is a fling. It goes good for a couple weeks then after I say no to being pressured for sex they stop talking to me.

What Girls Said 1

  • You're too eassyyyyyyy ! If you trying to be wifey material that's not how to act and those aren't the guys you want to hang around with.

    • I think I'm not easy that's the problem. Its not in my personality to be mean and ignore a guy just to watch him squirm or to play hard to get I just don't do that stuff haha. Which I'm not going to change but I do feel for the guys who are nice and don't get girls cause I'm getting the same problem!