"We weren't compatible!" Guys/gals, what "compatibility issues" have you had with people that you've dated?

"We weren't compatible!" "We weren't compatible!"

What overused and undefined buzz statements in the world of dating these above statements are! *yawn*

I'm asking this ? to bring some definition to these usually undefined statements.


Simple ? here...what "compatibility issues" have you had with people that you've dated? It can be anything,

from each others' families,

to compatibility with each others' friends,

to overall cultural compatibility,

to current job/career and said aspirations,

to personality traits (flirting with others, the "personal ticks" of one's personality),

to behavior when living together,

to your "goal" of dating this person (short-term fling, marriage, having children, etc.),

to each others' attitude and actions towards caring about one's health, fitness, and overall appearance (aka "taking care of yourself"),

to each others' physical, emotional, and sexual needs and the effort to fulfill them,



Please elaborate as much as you wish so we can understand what "compatibility issues" you have encountered (or are now encountering) in your dating experiences.

Thanks for answering and sharing your knowledge for all of us to understand.

P.S. Feel free to guess the Pokemon! :-D


Most Helpful Girl

  • The biggest compatibility issues that I have had come from personality differences.


    The last guy that I hung out with tended to keep all of his emotions locked up inside with me, but he would talk to our mutual friend to try to discover more about me. He asked her how I was and since he was too shy to ask me, he would ask her to bring me to parties, events, etc.

    I am a very forward person and like to talk directly. I strongly disapproved of his talking to our mutual friend because I am more of a private person. I did not like that he could not come to me and ask me to go places.

    Simply put, our personalities were not compatible.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Ones I've had:

    - dating goals (I want to have fun, they're looking for marriage)

    - job aspirations

    - incompatible educational goals

    - level of involvement (independent vs needy): I can't give up my life just because I'm dating someone. If they want more personal time than you do, it doesn't work out.

    - communication (direct vs indirect)

    - attitude towards health/fitness (I watched someone die slowly from lung cancer, so I have very strong, negative reservations regarding smoking)

    - sexual (frequency, preferred style, etc)

    - honesty (I'm brutally honest with myself & others, so I can't stand someone who's willfully dishonest)

    - Religious (I'm a pragmatic agnostic. Try to convert me & I'm gone like the wind)

    - Lawfulness: I favor practicality over rule-following in the strictest sense. Last thing I need is someone who is constantly trying to force me to follow rules, castigating me because I don't, or constantly frustrated/angry at me because I don't.)

  • I think all issue derive from expectations of the relationship or from one another. #Guy1) I expected monogamy he wanted to sleep with many women. #Guy2) I wanted to be progressive and move up in our careers/life and do well, he wanted to stay like he was in high school and was content with life as is #Guy3) Wanted a mother for his kids so he could travel the world as a jazz saxaphonist

    • Guy 3... that sounds like a sitcon script. That really happened? o_O

    • It did! He actually got married and found a much much older woman to take on that role!

What Guys Said 0

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