What is your opinion on black men whose interracial dating/relationship/children is a product of self-hate?

Hello, everyone! :) This question was inspired by a few blatant displays of proud ignorance by black men on this website and off of this website.

Disclaimer: I am not a "bitter black woman" just because I like to put the spotlight on the truth in it's most genuine form. My thirst for debate and quest to hear others' insight on this topic does not automatically make me a bitter black female and if assume that I am without getting to know me and more about my perceptions, then you're small minded.

Men with dominant African ancestry, particularly African American men, appear to be the only race of men who consistently praise and uplift non-black females while they sh*t on the women of their race. Be it that they are not as attracted to their features or they are using stereotypes and applying them to females they haven't even taken the time to know, yet use stereotypes to justify unattraction. Which is interesting because they share the same features. So to suggest that a non-black female's features look better than a black female's features would be equal to suggesting a non-black male's features look better than a black male's features, right? That is what makes the term 'self-hate' come to mind. If you are claiming that African ancestral features that you share are unattractive then you are more or less saying your features are unattractive as well.

Anyway, I don't know if most of you non-black people realize it, but when black men date interracially, seek interracial relationships, and breed interracial children, 9/10 times it's the source of a negative, unhealthy, disgraceful mentality than it really is out of "love has no color". My thoughts? Interracial dating is beautiful :) it really shows how far humanity has come as a whole, BUT when someone interracially dates because they hate their ethnicity; it's pathetic. Their interracial romance is a product of some genuine mental issues they have going on with acceptance of their ancestry. It's almost like they date outside of their race to feel better about themselves. For black people especially, this is a smack in the face to our ancestors because they went through so much just so that we could be free and some black men walk around and subliminally say "I glorify the culture and people that oppressed you. Whiteness is better than blackness even though you spent your life struggling and fighting so that I could even date interracially without getting lynched" when they degrade black females for having African ancestry.

What are your thoughts on this topic?

*Black men walk around and more or less say that to their ANCESTORS. I can only imagine the looks on their faces...



if they could hear the way black men talk about black women today. They spent their lives being dehumanized and fighting for the future African Americans to be free only for black men to

speak about black females and black features the way many of them do? How is that not disgraceful?
I also want to point out that this issue tends to mainly be with African American guys and some black guys from the UK.I have dated a black guy from Columbia as well as a Jamaican guy and none of this color bs was ever an issue.When I worked at this country store this guy from Africa would come in and visit me and flirt and we had conversations about this and about Africa, the difference between black people in America and in Africa, and more. So it's like blacks in U.S. are just easy to brainwash


Most Helpful Girl

  • They don't like being black. There is no pill to magically change themselves into white or Latino men (if there were, they'd take it) so the next best thing is to make sure their children are mixed. They can't make their kids 100% nonblack but 50% is the best they can do. Those are the same guys buying out Duke texturizer kits and brushing their "waves" every 5 minutes so they look like they have wavy hair and can tell people they're mixed lol.

    Lots of races do this by the way, we're just the ones who put our dirty laundry out in the street for everyone to see. Skin bleaching is extremely popular in Asia, and a dark skinned Indian girl for example won't get the first pick of guys like an Aishwarya Rai looking girl would.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • I'm just going to say bluntly what comes to my mind.

    A guy I went to university with told me that when he did a semester in the US, Florida, he stayed with a black family and they refused to go out in the sun (to the beach), because it would make them darker and they preferred to be light skinned.

    From all that I ever hear about African Americans is that they all, men and women alike, ridicule black features. Dark skin is ridiculed, curly hair is being ridiculed, big lips, wide noses... You name it. Look at African American superstars, they all are at least 50% non-black genetically. Beyonce looks like a very tan blond, so does Mariah Carey. Alicia Keys looks Latina...

    I get the idea as a non-black non-American, that genetically there is no real 'black' population in the US, just 'mixed race'. And at one hand they are proud of their black heritage but on the other hand they find non-black features more attractive. This causes shame and frustration.

    Asian women are popular with white men, but Asian men are not at all popular with white women. Maybe some racial features do look better on men than on women. These women are all doll like and petite, so are the men, it's pretty obvious why the popularity is so different: women are expected to be dolls, men are not.

    Black people tend to be a bit more masculine, which for the men is great because it makes them desirable to all sorts of women, but for women it must be frustrating because it is not what Western society dictates to be ideal.

    People feel, unfairly, that they are entitled to the partners in their race, yet of course they are not.

    I'm not a racist, but there will always be a teeny tiny part of me that says "that's one of OUR women", when I see a white girl with a non-white man. And that's still racist of me. I'm not saying I'm a bad person for it, I think a lot of people still feel this way. And I think this is with all the black girls that are frustrated with black men too.

    There's not much you can do about having trouble getting a partner, heck I'm struggling myself, but what I do know that being bitter and frustrated does not help. We are not entitled to a partner, we must go out and claim him/her.

    I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but quite frankly, there is no way of answering race questions without coming across racist.

    • How is it that black people, including black females are more masculine?

      I appreciate your honesty, but seeing as you are not from America and have most likely met very few African Americans let alone truly gotten to know African Americans isn't what you say all about what you've heard moreso than actual experience?

      One of YOUR women? No man or woman belongs to you just because you share the same skin color. You really need to get over that. I never understood how some black girls and

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    • He belives he's being real and honest, but really he's just expressing his prejudice, incomplete views. This guy isn't even from America and to my understanding hasn't been to America.

    • You ARE an angry bitter black woman. Look at the hate you spew dress in wordS.

  • Here's my response in regard to a few blatant display of total ignorance by a small handful of Black women. Quite often I browse through the various topics on this sight and on occasion I run across these one sided arguments about Black men who date out of their race. It's being said that Black men demoralize and demean Black women. Unfortunately, some Black men do. As disgraceful as it is, isn't it equally as demeaning when some Black women demoralize and demean Black men? Why aren't we addressing the ENTIRE issue with the same intensity and resolve as we seem to be addressing the issues of some Black men. Why aren't the Black women who do the same being held accountable? Let your thirst be for the complete truth and not inflated versions of generalizations and half truths.

    When are we going to address the negativity that some of these Black women say about Black men? When are we going to address the fact that many Black women talk about Black men being no good, lack ambition, cheat, etc.

    Furthermore, what about the Black women who will date any other race besides a Black man, and use negative stereotypes to justify their decision? Please tell me I am not the only one who is seeing this BLATANT omission of the ENTIRE ISSUE. When did it become tolerable for a Black woman to $hit on a Black man but the Black man is to have no recourse or defense?

    Is it also classified as self hate when a Black woman seeks out, dates, and conceives biracial children with non Black men? Is she just as guilty of disliking being Black and would be equally as eager to take a pill or undergo surgery to become White if at all possible? Is she as disrespectful to her Black father when she's bashing Black men? Isn't the woman spending hundreds of dollars to buy hair weave as guilty as the guy brushing his waves? I apologize for wanting to self groom and look presentable, but give a Black man some credit. At least it is our real hair and not Asian or Indian hair or synthetic hair to mimic their texture.

    It also appears that Black men are the only ones who speak negatively about women of their own race. Yet I have heard some White men degrade and demean White women to justify wanting to date an Asian or Hispanic woman. Same also applies to Hispanic and Asian men.

    Not to mention, what's this about Blacks dislike to go out in the sun. Is this along similar lines of White people who try to live in the sun? Because they want to appear darker I suppose. Let me guess, they're doing this because there's no pill or surgical procedure to make them become black.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to deny or justify that what you're saying isn't true to some extent but face it, this avenue goes both ways. The reality of the situation is people like what they like and there's nothing anyone can do to change that. I find beauty in ALL races of women, but I also find flaws. So which ever gender is without fault cast the first stone.

    (continued in comments)

    • Otherwise lets just let people be who they're going to be and date who they are going to date without fear of being persecuted for their choices.

  • Well it's hard to say as in Finland there are very few people of African or African American heritance and I know not one as a friend. But from what I hear, black men are being uplifted by women of Caucasian origin, more so than the Caucasian men, which can be due to different things. On the subject of them talking about liking features on a white woman and yet not liking that feature on a black woman, I'd say that's bullsh*t on a high scale. I mean they could just openly admit that they aren't attracted to African or African American women and I would be more okay with that than that they claim to like a specific feature and yet finding a black woman with such a feature not attractive. But I think that it's not really a case of self-hate, because from what I hear black men tend to dis men of other ethnic groups, which can be translated to an attitude that they feel superior to men of other ethnic groups. I'd guess most of them are just embracing the freedom this day and age provides for them and if we look at the statistics, they are making the "smart" choice here, as on average women of African or African American ancestry are doing the worst on economic and educational scale when compared to Caucasian or Asian women in western society. So combining that with the fact that white women who like black men are increasing in general, you can see the conclusion. That's at least one of the theories one can make about the situation. But I really wouldn't go call it self-hate.

  • "So to suggest that a non-black female's features look better than a black female's features would be equal to suggesting a non-black male's features look better than a black male's features, right?" It doesn't appear that most of the ones that put down black women feel that way. They typically are the ones that also tout black male features and why it's attractive to so many girls. It's hard to say it's self hate for that, right? I guess they've been brainwashed in those cases.

    When you say "Interracial dating is beautiful," do you mean non black-white couples or is it always a smack in the face because you still see white people as a whole as oppressors? I was a little confused by the last bit. I get that you feel disrespected by the ones that degrade black women and rightfully so, but I felt mixed messages in the last paragraph.

    Do you hang around Topix a lot?

    • smh, black people are so easy to brainwash. It's sad. I see no other ethnic group in America who has these issues to the extreme that black people do. I can kinda see it with some Asian females and here and there within Latin communities, but not to the point where they flat out degrade and/or insult.

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    • Nah, it's not even about being attracted simply to white people lol there are so many vast types of ethnic features out there and different ethnic groups. Not everything is about black on white ______

      hmmm I've never heard of it

    • Alright. I misinterpreted. I do know that some people have a problem with certain races more than others in those relationships.

      I brought it up because of this: "This question was inspired by a few blatant displays of proud ignorance by black men on this website and off of this website." I wasn't sure if you meant GAG or the specific one you were talking about. That's the only website that I've noticed a lot of it on. I wouldn't have been surprised if that's what you were referring to.

  • For starters, racism is wrong and we are all mixed race (All humans and scientists have proven that). There is no thing wrong with Interracial dating and as for a black man like myself, I love born natural women (I don't care what color or race you are) and I have dated different types of race (It was an amazing learning experience). There is nothing wrong if you have a preference. History is very important and interracial dating have way before Africa and African slavery.


What Girls Said 1

  • Black men who date interracially BECAUSE of self-hate? I'm biracial and I've come across black guys who are *obsessed* with the idea of dating non-black women, including mixed girls but refuse to date black girls. Those black guys tend to be dark skin & refuse to date dark skinned girls. Little Wayne is an example (supposedly). He supposedly told a groupie that she was attractive for being dark skinned but to leave. When she told him his daughter is dark skinned he replied something along the lines of "But she's a dark skinned millionaire." No one can validate that story though...

    Anyways, I won't date one of them nor will I date a white guy who has a fetish for black/mixed/Latina/Asian women. I think lowly of guys who have fetishes of women who are (insert race). Why? I think it speaks volumes of his character. The fact that he could view a whole group of women as nothing more than sexual fulfillments is a problem for me.

    Black men who date interracially? I don't care. Just like I don't care about white/Latin/Asian men who date interracially. I don't automatically assume those who date interracially do so because of self-hate. The world doesn't revolve around race and people shouldn't feel guilty for dating someone of a different race.

    My dad was married to my mom (she's Hispanic) and it wasn't self-hate. His current wife is black...

    My step dad though, doesn't like black women. He married his first wife(she was black) because he accidentally got her pregnant and as a southern boy, the *right* thing to do was get married. But he's told my mom before that he doesn't like black women or find black women physically attractive. He says nasty things about them. Not randomly, but when he told my mom how he felt about them, he did.

    I'm biracial though, so technically anyone I date won't be of my "race," but I've only ever gone out with white guys...just because of my environment and who I associate with.

    Black men don't owe black women anything; white women don't owe white men anything; Asian women don't owe Asian men anything.

    Quite frankly, I think people should focus more on themselves and not the black man dating the white woman or white woman dating the black man or Asian girl dating the white man.

    • I didn't say all black men date interracially because of self hate. *will be back to finish reading later :) *

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    • behind where they're partially accountable for being racist pigs.

    • oh yeah, I definitely agree with that...I mean, essentially they're disrespecting their mothers when they do that

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