Guys: I got too clingy and now I am hurting and want to fix it.

It's a guy friend that I've been close to the last few months and at first it was all great, but then I noticed he got shorter with texts and not as talkative. He let me know the other night that I've gotten too needy and talking too much. I want to fix this. I am hurting right now. I know it now, but it seems like its too late. I am hurt and am basically ignoring him and won't send any message at all, but don't know if that's the right thing to do either. What can I do about this? Answers from men or women would be appreciated, but I would kind of like to see the male point of view.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have often bin the clingy one in relationships or potential relationships and almost all of the time has not worked in my favor. Often in relationships someone goes hot and cold and vice versa unofrunately it's a game of push and pull. That is mostly though when you are in your teens and maybe til mid 20s. Sometimes people much older still play games and never grow up and realize life is too short and there are too many potential suitors awaiting you. Forget those games at this point.

    I guess to answer your ? from my own experience and foibles I personally do not really like girls that talk a lot especially in the early stages of a relationship. That is just me though I like quiet girls sort of but I am quiet so Idk. But I think if he says you are being too needy perhaps back off a little for sure, but as far as ignoring texts altogether that seems a bit juvenile and spiteful and I think any guy could see through that. It is not wise to cut off a guy you like even if he said something that hurt you. Being too cold and distant is a sure way to lose a guy for sure. I know from experience. A little coquettishness is OK at times but overdoing it or anything is a recipe for disaster.

    I mean you are in your 30s I say you tell a guy how you feel and be completely honest with him your feelings how he is hurting you, etc. ...if he doesn't like it then move on. One thing I can tell you for certain is you will get over this guy if he shoots you down. I have been lovesick once or twice in my life and this I promise you it may take months or even a year but you will meet someone else do not sweat him.

    I often find I am most clingy when I have nothing happening interesting in my life and am lonely and just want someone. The best way to avoid all that is make sure you are happy with yourself and aim for your goals and career and make men secondary and have a balance. Interestingly enough when you do not make men or relationships your utmost priority you will probably have many suitors or men of interest than you care for.

    Besides date around until you get very serious with one guy ...I mean really.

    Bottom line neither sex will ever really truly understand each other. Even Freud, one of the most brilliant minds in the last century never really understood women. Men are easy to figure out I think though.

    I suggest reading a book called "He's just not that into you" it is a brilliant book by a guy and I read the book years ago and is dead on in letting you into the mind of all men. every women should read it it takes a lot of the guess work out of stuff. Seriously pick it up.

    My opinion about this guy is that he is probably not that into you anyway and has very little to do with your clingy behavior. If a guy is really into a girl nothing will get in his way of treating her me. His behavior just tells me he is not the right guy for you.

    Believe in destiny and honest and yourself if he don't like it move on.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Once a girl displays clinginess, the interest is dead 87% of the time.

    • But is there anything I can do to try to correct it at least?..

    • Show All
    • Couldn't even get past friends and I seem to have screwed it up..

    • Gotta' take a breath next time. You live and learn!

What Girls Said 1

  • no one calls someone needy unless they are a coward trying to insult you into leaving. if he had a problem he shouldve told you before it got to the point he had to be a prick.

    dump him. don't hang around people who have no respect for u.

    no one is 'needy' in a relationship. people have needs and either they balance each other, or there's a huge discrepancy and they are not compatible.

    hes blaming the relationship on you. very good indication he's not remotely mature enough to be in a relationship.

    hes acting like its all about him. that's not a relationship.hes treating you like a call girl.