How does the whole dating thing work?

This is gonna sound like a really stupid question but I'll ask anyway. How exactly does dating work? Like I know you meet someone, ask for their number or whatever, set up a time to go on a date, go on said date, meet again etc.

My questions are:

How long do you have to know a girl to ask her out on a date? How do you meet people and go on dates?

Like say you are in line at a cafe and you start chatting up a girl in behind you while you wait. Do you ask her if she wants to go out sometime and then get her #? I'm just kind of confused lol.

I've only been on 4 dates my entire life and they didn't happen like that. I really want to start dating more girls but what exactly does dating mean. If you're dating a girl does that make her your girlfriend? After how many dates?

And the other big part of the question is can you go on dates with multiple girls at the same time. Like say you have a date with Maria on Friday, then the next day you have a date with Sarah. Would that be cheating on Maria, or is it just a date?


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a legitimate question! Many people are on here trying to find these answers!

    "How long do you have to know a girl to ask her out on a date?"

    This depends on your comfort level. Say you meet someone at a coffee shop and you comment on one thing, then that leads to a topic worthy of conversation, then the next thing you know you just spent a good hour talking to this interesting girl and there are obvious sparks. You can ask her right then and there if she would like to hang out some time. OR, this typically happens if you meet someone online, where you will text, phone call, or Skype one another and date until you feel comfortable with meeting the person, about maybe a week after your first messages.

    "How do you meet people and go on dates? "

    If you're in college/university, I find that the best way to meet people is by joining clubs and organizations. You can meet new friends and in case none of them are girls, don't worry, your guy friends have friends that are girls and you will eventually meet them. But, you can practically meet people anywhere if you have the right approach. I have been approached while standing in line at the post office! I guess any place where you have to queue is a good place. Coffee shops are good places when it's summer time because people are mostly there to hang out and not really studying.

    "Do you ask her if she wants to go out sometime and then get her #?"

    I think the best way to approach anyone is with by commenting on something random, like an ice breaker. Once you get something out you will feel more comfortable with saying what you really want to say. A guy once approached me while walking out of school and asked if I knew how to do citations. It was random because we were not in the same class and I had never seen him before. Then he asked if I was taking English, to which I replied that I had already taken it. He proceeded to ask how long I was attending there and that was when I knew this was going somewhere else. Sure enough we exchanged numbers. The guy from the post office had "broken the ice" with commenting on how long these post office lines are.

    "If you're dating a girl does that make her your girlfriend? After how many dates?"

    It doesn't make her your girlfriend until you make it official, which requires a proper conversation and agreement of exclusivity between both parties. Some people say they are dating and they are actually in a relationship but dating can also mean you are just going on dates to try and get to know the person better. It totally depends on you and your partner when you want to make it official. My current boyfriend and I made it official after about a week of talking and 2 dates worth because we knew we really liked each other and our personalities matched up. Before him I was going on multiple dates with one guy over the course of 3 months.

    "Would that be cheating on Maria, or is it just a date?"

    Just a date unless you mutually agree to become exclusive.

    • Awesome answer! I gave you BA but I'm gonna ask some follow up questions when I have time if you don't mind lol. Thanks!

    • Of course! :D Thank you!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • It's not cheating if you make it clear that you guys are only on a date and not actually dating. but if she asks don't keep it a secret be straight forward. or just ask her if she minds you going on dates with other people or if she wants to be the only one your seeing at the time.

    • After how many dates do you consider it a relationship? Is it something that you both decide on, like talk about being a couple?

    • if things go well the first time call or text her and ask for another date if things seem to be going well after the third date then ask her if she would like to be your girlfriend

  • I don't even get asked out on dates. Guys try to get me to do stupid favors for them. It's very disappointing that I don't get dates. :(

  • yes you can go on multiple dates with different girls, dating is just to get to know someone before you decide you want to commit to them. It's really that simple.


What Guys Said 2

  • First, you have to surround yourself with women. From my experience, approaching women randomly at stores, restaurants, etc rarely lead to anything. Some women might just think you're desperate or just plain creepy.

    Put yourself in a friendly and safe environment where women are. Unless you're looking for a quick hook up, I'd avoid places like nightclubs or bars. You could find women in a school classroom, at church, a club/association, or at volunteer or service activities. Putting yourself in this environment serves multiple purposes. First, you'll learn how to communicate and be comfortable around women. Second, you'll likely share similar interests or beliefs. And most importantly, you'll meet women you could ask on a date that wouldn't reject you so quickly, or think you're creepy.

    To address your other questions, dating is just that- dating. Your first couple of dates should establish or strengthen a friendship. They are not commitments to get married or be exclusive. You both should have fun and relax. Women (from my experience) are not attracted to nervous guys. Have a good attitude and a good time. When you find that person you like and continue to go out with them, you'll know when it becomes a relationship.

    I'm not against going on dates with different girls. In fact, I think it's a good idea. Just ensure they are not related in any sort of way. When you've determined you're in a relationship, then under no circumstance should you be seeing other women.

    Hope this helps.

    • That's a good idea, maybe I should join a yoga class or something at the gym :P. What do you think about random encounters, like just approaching random girls you find attractive. The only thing is I never know what to say past hi/hows it going. And even though I might be able to pull it off because I'm not a bad looking dude, I don't want to jump straight to "hey we should go out sometime, what's your number".

    • I do it all the time but never expect anything. I've gone up to random girls, tell them they're pretty and in some instances we sustain a decent conversation. Personally it hasn't got me a lot of results. I think it's easier to meet women in a friendly setting so you get to know each other and dating almost comes naturally. Dance class is another one- it seems cheesy at first, but girls like a guy who can lead :)

  • If your chatting with a girl, it's going well, and the conversation is about to be over, say something like, "hey it was cool talking with you, let's hang out some time." If she says, ya! or something like that, say a time and place to meet right then and there. So she says, "Ya!" and you would say, "Ok, let's meet here tomorrow at 6:30p and than we can head over to the movies and see Argo 8"...or something like that...if the conversation is going well, just remember you're going to have to be the one to transition to a more than casual relationship...going from random conversation in Coffee shop to if you're interested, don't just say, "ok, well it was nice talking with you, bye." I've made that mistake a few times on girls that I was attracted to, and you just don't ever see them again haha.

    Dude don't worry about how many dates it takes to make a girl your girlfriend, there is no set number. About dating multiple girls at the same time, it's personal opinion...I don't like to date more than one girl at a time, but I have friends that do...they don't consider it cheating, but I would feel guilty about it so I just don't do it...personal preference.

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