34 year old male still wondering just what it is you women want.

As the question says, I'm 34 and single. I have never made it past a 3rd date with anyone. I have tried talking to women while out and about, letting friends set me up and online dating. Nothing works, ever. I know I can say anything I want on here to make me look better, but it gets old because my women friends (who are all married) ALWAYS comment on how they think I am good looking, a gentleman, very well dressed and have a lot of depth. They try to set me up, but inevitably whoever they try to set me up with will stop wanting to see me after a couple of dates. They always say I seem distracted and not in the moment with them. I can't help this tendency. If we are just in the initial small talk phase, I am constantly analyzing everything in my head and trying to formulate a way to get into who the woman really is. I can't shut this off. For those familiar with MBTI, I am an INTP, so I get very bored with small talk and naturally try to push conversations to something in depth and interesting, which also seems to annoy the hell out of women.

So, to you ladies out there who are familiar with the INTP type, (those who aren't, look it up and maybe you can give me some insight too) why is it you guys hate INTPs so much, and is there any hope?

To Nicci: I don't try to hard, that's the thing. I take a very laid back approach to dating. I hate the expectations that go with it, and prefer the first few dates to be laid back affairs of two people just hanging out, getting to know each other. I am often accused of moving too slow, but never trying to hard.
I should also add, I know "what do women want" is a bad choice of words. Considering I have dated several types of women and get no where, it was what first popped in my head.


Most Helpful Guy

  • past 28 a women will desperately seek a DADDY for her children up until 35 where it's the last ride until she stays single forever. That's why maybe they tell you, you don't make moves fast enough. They want commitment out of you and will be able to tell if you can provide that or not in 2 - 3 dates why do you think your having such a hard time and also once you fail. She will inform her network of friends that you failed (or simply what it is that she figured out about, and dating women).

    I've had a woman flirting with me during my working hours telling me what she was stuying where she was working and wanted to know the same information's about me. She also approached me using the I've been watching you for a while. I'm my mind I was like WTF is this a joke.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe you are trying too hard?

    You kinda need to stop with the whole "what do women want", we're not all the same and you can find women with every single personality type, hobby etc, so a general statement like that just doesn't work.

    I don't know how you are on a date, so it's not easy to judge for me, but you can kinda tell when a guy is trying too hard and that's at least to me, never really that attractive, sometimes it pushes you away.


What Guys Said 1

  • I'm an INTP too, the best advice when dating that actually got me laid, was to simply focus on making her feel comfortable by joking on some dorky things I do. I don't understand why but too many people that are trying get to know me get really anxious. It's not about how good you feel it's more a question of how the other person feels in your presence.

    give it a try. Less thinking more doing.

    • It's not about what do women what dude. You got it all wrong, it's about what do you want in a girl and what are you willing to give her to get what you want.

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