Why would she continue to compliment me if she doesn't want to date me?

She used to compliment and flirt with me a lot, so I asked her out. From her behavior and response she was reluctant, but eventually agreed. The date was awkward because I knew that she wasn't that into me. After the date, we barely made eye contact and barely talked.

A couple months after the date, I made small talk with her since we were the only two around. Again, she complimented me (these compliments usually have to do with my sense of humor... and they're completely unprompted and unsolicited). She'll also say stuff like "I'd miss you if you weren't around" and things to that effect.

It's been more than three months since the date and I don't know if she even remembers that whole time. I seem to be a very tangential part of her life.

Why does she do this if she doesn't want to date me? That stuff is the reason I fell for her in the first place and now that it's clear she doesn't feel the same, why keep doing it?


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What Girls Said 2

  • have you asked her if she has a boyfriend? if you don't know, ask.

    If she doesn't, why don't you try asking her out again? She might be genuinely into you but there might be a reason she doesn't feel comfortable. Asking her out again will clarify things for you. She will either refuse, which will show you she has ulterior motives for complimenting you, or she will and the date will be awkward again, during which you can ask her outright if she is enjoying herself or has an issues making her not comfortable on the date, or she will say yes and you will have a great time.

    As a girl, I do have to say, I wouldn't go on a date with a guy if I wasn't interested at all, so perhaps there is something there.

    • she doesn't.

      I'm not asking her again because I've already asked her twice. The first time about a year ago when her boyfriend dumped her. She pulled the old "let's go as a group". I dropped it, assuming it was too soon.

      Then this year I asked again, after really CLEAR signs she was into me (unless she's just a natural flirt). And I STILL got the same response ("let's go as a group"), but then I had to tell her that it was her I was interested in. And even then she wouldn't make plans with me

    • when I tried to make plans on the spot. She said she'd get back to me. And she got back to me, but on the actual day I had asked her out for. Plus, she was five, ten minutes late for the date.

      That doesn't sound like someone who's too eager, does it? Given all that, now do you see why I won't ask her again?

  • Hey honestly she really doesn't want to hurt your feelings that she is not attracted to you in a way to date you, therefore she tries to be nice and she does know you like her. Although what she is doing is out of being nice but it is slightly belittling.. just cause she isn't into you that way its not like she has to feel sorry for you knowing you are into her.. since there will be others that will be into you lol

    • well, I mean, we went for a long time without even making eye contact...so I'm not sure why she has to be nice. That ship has sailed. And basically she's doing the same thing she did before. How does she not know that she's leading me on?

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