Biracial and multiracial people racial dating preferences?

Biracial and multiracial people, How do you date?

I'm half Puerto Rican, and I prefer to date Puerto Rican women. I look Latin, and prefer to date Latin women. I assume it's because I'm attracted to women with similar features(curly hair +hazel eyes etc. Because of my preferences, I've been called a self hater by my friends and a few family members. I strongly disagree with them. It's just my preference.

So my question to you is, is it self discrimination for a biracial person to oppose dating other parts of their ethnicity?


Most Helpful Girl

  • No not at all. Sexual attraction really hasn't got a lot to do with racism. It is about what you find attractive. Race should really not matter. So leave the labels out of it. It is about the features that attract you the most. For me I am Australian and I have Spanish heritage. I am olive skinned and have almond shaped chocolate eyes and dark hair. I don't often find blond, arian looking guys sexually attractive - I think they are nice looking but I don't have any interest in them myself. I always tend to end up with dark haired guys with brown or hazel eyes, simply because I like those features.

    It is not about me dismissing the European/anglo heritage I have, it is about what I find good looking.

    Those who are using the word descrimination for natural preference of sexually attractive features are kidding themselves. They themselves have preferences of what they find attractive and it has nothing to do with being racist.

    I have nothing against white/arian looking men do I? I just don't often find them appealing sexually - does that make me racist? f*** no! That is like saying if you don't like Chinese food because it doesn't agree with your taste buds that you are racist to Chinese people.

    • My sentiments exactly. Thanks for answering.

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    • You're contradicting yourself and still missing the point EmpressMe. It isn't about race. Some features are simply more attractive, along with personality traits. I like olive skin and darker skin hence I tend to go for mediteranean looking guys - now they may not actually be italian, Spanish, portuguese, creek., sicilian etc but they just have those sorts of features that I find appealing. It has nothing to do with race.

    • No. I understand your point completely. Just because I'm not complying and firmly disagree with you does not mean I have missed your point.

      If you're not a minority or you haven't been on the not so fair side of the biased media and it's portrayls of what makes people attractive, then you won't get it. You'll most likely be naive to the topic.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Whaaat? No it's not self hating or anything. You like who you like. I'm half Asian half white, and I usually go for white guys. I've thought Asian guys were hot too though, but they usually remind me too much of my dad haha. Also I grew up in a mainly white environment so that's the kind of culture I'm used to. I still think it's really cool to be half asian!

  • *Warning, no sugarcoating or a** kissing ahead*

    Well first off, I think that if your family and friends, the people who know you best, are calling you a self-hater then there's probably some truth to that. Usually if one person says something, at least three other people are thinking it. But if a bunch of people are saying it and they actually KNOW you well, then it's true 9/10 times.

    People want to throw around the word preference to excuse any slight prejudice or racist attitudes they truly have towards a group of people. Saying "It's just a preference." or "Everybody has their preferences" does not eliminate the fact that many people are being at least a little racist and/or prejudice when they completely exclude an entire ethnic group of people from dating. You can't use the word preference to mask your true racist/prejudice thoughts. I see a lot of people doing that so that they don't have to be accountable and guilty for having prejudice perceptions. I know there are a lot of minorities and mixed people who say the over-used, unoriginal, played out "It's just my prefrence" line and use it as an excuse to discriminate against their own. Although that sounds dramatic, it IS discrimination because to discriminate is separate a group of people from _____ . I think that you want to keep telling yourself "It's just my preference...everyone has them." but that's just a cop out so that you don't have to deal with the true underlying issue.

    • HAHAH, is there something wrong with that?

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    • You really think that? - One of my best friend is black and she is very AWARE of how I feel towards it. Even her family. As well as my mother. - I'm not stupid to go around saying that sh*t, especially where there is more of a black community. I don't want to get shot up. LOL - No thank you.

      As for being black, I just tell people I'm Asian and leave it at that.

      I just don't like the black in me, does not mean I dislike other black people.

    • I can see how you could come to this conclusion but are you honestly saying you have no preference of features when it comes to a sexual partner? Have you dated every single kind of person out there? Have you been across all boards and conclusively stated that you like all types of features all equally attractive? My guess is no. There are some people who are racist and won't date a black person or a Latina person or an Asian or whatever but those people make that clear. They don't hide it.

  • No, it's not. I see nothing wrong with that.

    Do you ever see hot black girls/guys complaining about discrimination?

    If you don't want to date your own ethnicity, don't. More for other people.

    • are't you that girl who goes around here talking about how you don't like being black...?

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    • What's the difference between the way you think and the way a racist thinks?

    • lol, they probably feel sorry for you.

      There's not much of a difference between the way you think and the way cowardly white racists think.

  • I think there's a very easy way of knowing if you're discriminating: suppose you meet a girl you really 'really' like and she's Asian (or whatever!). Would you turn her down simply because she's not Latin? If your answer's yes, then I'm afraid your friends are right. If your answer's no, then you're just attracted to a very specific 'type' of woman (for whatever reason!) just like people prefer blondes, redheads, brunettes, skinny girls, curvy girls, etc.

    Hope this helped!

    BTW, I'd love to hear your thoughts on my question:


    • No, I would not turn her down. I'm attracted to women of all races, but I feel a common bond with Latinas. It's probably the reason why I get hit on by Latinas more than any other race, excluding White women.

    • ok, then. so, don't worry about it!

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm Black and Native American, and I don't really care about race. If I came across someone I found attractive and was compatible with, I would date them. I will say, however, that most of the girls I come across in person and find hot tend to be either Black or White. So if I had to say I had a racial preference, those two would probably be it. That being said, I've still come across girls I've found attractive in just about every race, so I find no races inherently unattractive.

    As for your second question, I guess it depends on the reason. If you simply don't find them attractive, then it's not self discrimination. It's just preference. If you're doing it for validation validation and acceptance from another race (I'm not accusing you of doing this), then I would classify it as self discrimination.

    • I agree. Thanks for your input.

  • No it's not self hate, you can do what you want to do because in the end its not going to matter... they will get over it.

    • there's this movie called Django coming out on the 25th that you should see

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    •, you're boring :P it's a totally different movie. You act like if someone creates one movie that you think is boring then every other movie they create will be boring. That's not how art works

    • I saw the preview when I went to see skyfall I mean it was OK but it still has Tarantino's style.