Silence is making me go insane!

We broke up 1.5 years ago. We were in touch, almost daily, in fact. Things had been a bit bumpy ever since we broke up because I had a hard time moving on. A couple of months ago I found him on a dating site. I knew he was on a couple since we broke up, this was a new one though. I was upset and sent a rude text message to him. I've not heard from him since and it doesn't look like he's going to write back ever again. I've sent so many emails over the last couple of months, also text messages.

I don't even care about the dating site (although he's deleted his profile when I sent the rude text), I was upset for 5 min after seeing it.

He didn't even bitch at me or anything, he simply never replied again. I assume he's got me blocked by now and doesn't read my emails. What the hell can I do? I want to be on speaking terms with him again because it's hard to accept he's gone from my life completely. I want nothing more than friendship from him now.

What can I do? Can he really be that mad at me? It feels unreal!


Most Helpful Guy

  • The first male poster is 100% correct. Leave this guy alone unless you want to find yourself thrown in jail.

    Have no contact, at all. When you say you sent him a text because you found he was on a dating site, that admission is troubling, because what you revealed required you to search for his listing and then, after you found it, to become angered enough to act impulsively. If I were advising this male, I would strongly recommend he obtain a restraining order that orders you to have no contact with him at all, by any means. With that order, your continued contact would violate the law, and you would be arrested.

    The "male" advice is absolutely correct and is in your best interests. It is incomprehensible that some female said to try to talk to him - that advice is beyond bad. It is, plainly, asinine. And what you want is irrelevant - he doesn't want anything to do with you.

    Nothing is more pathetic than a male or female who cannot let go long after a relationship has ended, and who stoops to harassment to fulfill their need for contact, and even negative contact will suffice for these types. You need to seriously look at yourself and figure out why you are continuing to pursue a male who wants nothing to do with you.

    Move on. Meet new friends. Volunteer your time to help others so you aren't longer consumed with an issue that is only important to you. You will be much happier. Mark

    • I didn't search for him. A friend of mine is on that site and saw him in her matches. I knew about the other dating sites because he's told me on his own free will that he was on there.

      I have moved on. I don't want him back or anything. I have someone new and I'm happy in that respect, but I just dislike being on bad terms with pretty much anyone. But yes, I guess I will leave him alone, even if it's a shame it's come to this.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Accept the situation and for what it is; she is no longer a part of your life, talk to friends, family. Re discovers yourself, take a haircut. Do something you always wanted to do.

    I miss my ex boyfriend too but I have known and been with myself for a longer time than I was with him. Therefore I will survive and you can too

    • I posted this question five months ago! Lots has changed since! Thanks anyway.

    • I didnot realize that's good though

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Yeah whoever said silence is golden never been in a relationship.

    Anyway, you probably drove him away, I'm sorry to say. Your text probably convinced him that he wanted you out of his life forever, well, at least for a few years. Don't do anything. Nothing you CAN do will make him want to be on speaking terms, and in fact, will confirm he made the right decision. On the other hand, respecting his silence shows that your rude text may have been just a one-off thing, and perhaps later he may open up again. I wouldn't hold my breath, but at least you're getting on with your life.

    • Thanks for the response. I should probably just chill. The main thing that gets to me is that I'm not sure if he blocked me right away, as in if he saw my apology. But I guess it doesn't really matter.

  • Try sending him a text.. check me out

  • There's nothing you can do. You are a psycho girlfriend and the last thing he needs to do is engage in any kind of contact. He knows how you are and how you can be. Let it go. Become someone else's future psycho ex girlfriend.

    • Way to judge someone you don't even know.

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    • Ok, smart ass. You are still looking on a dating site and sent him a message when you saw it.

      Since you've broken up, he has remained friends with you? What changed a few months ago then? You have mentioned that you have had a hard time moving on, which is painfully obvious, but what changed a few months ago that made him stop talking to you? Or is it that he just didn't contact you every single day like he used to?

    • I didn't look for him! I'm not on any dating sites, but some of my friends are and he happened to be one of my friend's matches. I sort of wish she hadn't told me.

      I had a hard time moving on initially, but then I did in baby-steps. I wish it had happened faster but it didn't. I have a boyfriend and everything, just hate that it's gotten ugly between me and my ex. I think he stopped talking because of that text, can't be 100% sure though because he never told me why.

What Girls Said 5

  • if he isn't replying to your virtual conversations, then why don't you try talking to him face to face? you should not care what he is doing now that you have broken up, it is hard, but you have to try to not care if he is looking for another girlfriend or is on a dating website. I'd just try apologizing and explain your situation to him, that is really all you can do.

    • I can't talk to him face to face since I'm abroad for work and won't be back in the country in the foreseeable future. The thing is that I don't even care! I'm a bit impulsive though and when I saw him on there I had a strop for about five minutes and sent the text message. I felt bad afterward because I do want him to be happy. I have apologized but fear he may have blocked me and not seen it.

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    • I guess you are right. Maybe a few years down the road when things have calmed down we can be friends again. I just hope that he knows that I didn't mean to be rude and wish him all the best. Thanks for your help!

    • np, I hope it all works out sooner or later

  • why do you want that for. let him go. he is not good for you. you need to move on. it's the's been over one 1/2. this is not healthy for you. and what you are doing is not good for him either.

    for now, no friendship..maybe when you moved on...give yourself a chance.

    • I have moved on! I just wanted to keep him in my life as someone I can speak to. But yes, I guess even that isn't possible anymore. Not right now anyway. Thanks.

    • whatever it is, just leave things alone for now...or at least the next few years. let him meet someone.

      and going to therapy helps...get a clear understanding why you are with someone yet, you bother him about him going onto a dating site.

    • It wasn't about the dating site itself. It was a lie that that activity revealed. But it isn't relevant because I shouldn't have freaked out the way I did no matter what. It was before I got with the guy I am with now (knew him back then already). But that's irrelevant. I shall cut my losses and maybe one day him and I will be able to be on good terms again.

  • Has it occurred to you, that you've really overstepped your boundaries? You're getting what you deserve. Leave him alone already! AND you have a boyfriend?! WTF dude. 'Hate to see it end this way, on bad terms' said about that. You gave up a good ending by butting your unwelcome nose into his business. You f'd. up. Deal with it and let him be, you're def acting psycho ex, seriously

    • When I said I hate to see it end this way I wasn't referring to the relationship. That's been over and done 1.5 years ago. I mean that I hate the fact that someone I got along with is disappointed in me and I can't even apologize to him. That's all.

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    • I don't know how or why I'm acting like a loser. Do you have issues or something? Sounds like you're very bitter. Good luck with your life.

    • Thanks! Life is good but I'll take some free luck!

  • Just move on.

    It's clear that's what he is trying to do.

  • You're preventing him from moving on with his life and pursuing happiness with another woman. If you really love him then quit being so selfish and let him go. Friendships between exes rarely actually exist anyway because one of the two is still hoping for more than 'friendship'. Obviously in this case, that person is you. What right do you have to chew him out for being on a dating website? He isn't yours anymore and hasn't been for a long time! I would have cut off contact with your crazy self too.

    • If I really love him? I don't love him, he's my ex. I care about him the way I care about all my friends. I have moved on, I have a boyfriend. Not sure what you're talking about to be honest. Like I said, I had a strop for 5 min about the dating site. It was stupid, and it wasn't because I don't want him to find someone. It was because it revealed a lie that he's told me. Either way, it was silly of me to text him and I admitted that already.