Boyfriend doesn't make any effort anymore?

He doesn't text me first or anything anymore... I always text him. He used to make more of an effort. I don't text him what I'd consider to be a lot. Maybe every other day.

We live on opposite sides of the state, so we don't see each other very often... Our communication is mostly limited to texting. Which is kind of a problem because neither of us are really big on texting/talking on the phone.

When he comes to see me, it's like nothing is out of the ordinary. It's just like he's tired of talking to me on the phone, and texting me.

So, I've decided to experiment with NOT contacting him first to see what happens... I wanna see how long before he decides to try to text or call, or something.

I'm kind of nervous about it. I'm a little afraid he won't try to contact me...

I guess I don't really have a question, just kinda wanted to talk about it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi;

    Please don't be offended if I don't stay engaged in this discussion with you. I have not been on here for quite some time... ...and may not be back, because time don't permit...

    But being you didn't say what it was that you two do when you get together, I can only guess that he may be just using you...

    He doesn't love you! It don't take much effort to text someone just to say; I Miss You or Thinking of You...

    Go ahead and give your "Test" a try... See if he does respond... Then take note as to how he responds...

    It is not easy to accept that someone you love really don't love you the same...

    I do know the pain...

    Take Care and try and move on if you determine this to be the case...

    Heck, I don't even know you, I'd likely send you a text at least saying; Good Morning a few times a week...

    • You're implying that he uses me for sex. We waited a while before even having sex. He still came to see me even before we were having sex. Everything feels completely normal when he's actually with me.. it's just when he's away that I feel worried that it isn't working.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • OK on the further enlightenment on the sex scenario.

    I do feel the comments about long distance relationships apply in your case.

    However, I do know that if I love someone, that means that they at least reside in my heart. That said, I think of them often and can't help myself to at least make some sort of contact with them.

    Texting sure makes this a lot less effort than it was years ago. This is why I don't believe he loves you. I will have to classify him as an; "AWB" " Acquaintance With Benefits"

  • because you are having a long distance relationship, and you don't have much contact with each other. you eventually loose the will to contact that person. it sounds like he might loosing interest because you don't have much too talk about anymore.

    when I moved away for 2years from my friends, I was contacting them a lot at first, but as time went on the calls and texts gradually cut down too almost I wouldn't call them for 6 months. when you move away from someone for long periods time, you gradually move on. out of sight is out of mind.

    too be honest with you, I would just call it a day with him and move one. I can't honestly see the relationship lasting long anyway. unless one of you plan to move closer to the other. long distance relationships very rarely work unless its only temporary.


What Girls Said 1

  • To be honest, long distance relationships rarely work out, it's usually a case of "out of sight, out of mind".

    I'm sorry but, unless you're able/willing (or him) to actually move to where the other person is, than it's unlikely that this relationship will work out.