How do I make him see that size (FAT) doesn't matter?

So I am best friends with this guy for about a year. We don't hang out all the time or text or FB a lot but when we are together we tell each other everything. Especially about relationships. We are both seniors in college and because of the way our relationship works I don't think we will stay in contact after school is over. I was really happy with the way our relationship worked until just recently.

We were walking together and he said "I wish I could be with someone special who I could say anything to, like with you but who I was attracted to.Someone who I could do this with. Don't you?" (By "this" he means take random long or short walks with and just talk) My first thought was "But I already do!"

He is always saying he wants a girl he is really attractive to and he always made it clear that he wasn't attractive to me. It never bugged me because I didn't want to date a friend but he went on to say how he wishes he could date someone for just a few months but that it would be meaningful. And I realized that I wish I could be that person for him. I mean after these next couple months we will probably just drift away from each other.

The problem is he really is attractive. He is a go to the gym everyday kind of guy and I am a couch potato Zombie romance book junkie. The girls he dates are drop dead gorgeous and he knows how to make anyone feel good about themselves. Mostly because he sees the good in people (male or female). He isn't perfect but he is a great guy. I know he likes my personality and that he feels comfortable with me. We talked about it and he decided my best features are my breast and face (in that order) but that I am to short for him. The problem is I know he really means I am to heavy.(5ft to 190lbs) (It would take to long to explain how I know but trust me on it). Fitness means a lot to him and I would be willing to lose the weight but there is no way I could lose it all before the end of the school year. So how do I get him to look past my size? What can I do to make him see me as sexy and desirable without showing off a body I don't have? I want to plant the idea in his head before I suggest we "date". We walk all the time so any suggestions on what to say to him? It isn't that I am ugly, my body is more plump curvy it is just that he sees me as cute and not gorgeous like he is use to. How can I make him understand that the girl he dates doesn't have to be gorgeous to be worth it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You can't make someone be attracted to you. Think of it like this, if there was a guy you did not find attractive at all, and he tried to make you see that whatever flaw he had didn't matter, would it work? Probably not. You like who you like.

    I think right now you're not in a bad position. You have what this guy wants mentally, you just need to lose the weight. This is a guy who is attractive, can get bad bitches and has options. He isn't going to downgrade for a girl who's almost 200 pounds just because she has a great personality. Don't you think he meets girls who go to the gym with great personalities also?

    Don't suggest that you date. Stay in your lane and stay being friends with him while making yourself more attractive. Go out more and be less of a couch potato. Start working out and getting fit. You may not lose the weight by the end of the year, but you'll lose it eventually. Every pound lost gets you closer and closer to your goal. Plus you'll attract a lot more guys. He isn't the only hot nice guy out there, you'll be getting those types of guys and have way more options if you stick to it.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm sorry, but this happens a lot to guys and girls. It's pretty hard to date someone if there's no sexual attraction--that's friendship. And guys, especially guys who are the "go to the gym everyday" sort, are more likely to not be attracted to an overweight person.

    Get in shape. Then go out with him, lol.


What Girls Said 1

  • Hm,

    Why not try being a little more flirty with him, show him a side of you he's never seen before. You say he sees you as cute probably because you've been more friendly. You could also (and I know this will take so much courage) but you could maybe ask him if you guys could work out together? 1. you'll be getting healthier 2. spending more time with him.

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