Is he going to break up with me?

He is 35 and I am 21. He has two kids that live in another country and his ex left him last june back to their home country. He said their relationship was not well when they broke up and had been that way for a year or two. He started dating me back in august. Everything was wonderful I broke up with my b.f at the time to be with him. Things were great up until december when he said he needed a couple of days for space. so fine we talked on the phone those couple of days and that was that. now his daughter is up from costa rica and she is 16 and he refuses to tell his ex that he is with some one b.c she is scared that she will take his money and refuse to let him see the kids. They were never married so I know that this not the case. but I am insecure in the relationship and I tell him that and I try to talk to him and he never listens he tells me to stop nagging and I do. I listen. I know not good but I do. I love him very much and I have not called him all the time or text him to bring him close again and it seems to have done the opposite. He refuses to find time for me or try to sneak away from his daughter to see me. He never tells me he loves me he just says me too and he never tells me that he misses me. I have not seen him in three weeks except for an hour on thursday and that was me bringing him home form the airport. Don't you think he would want to see me or at least try to sneak away?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There's nothing wrong with trying on an older man now and then but the 14 years between you two tells me all I need to know. Your gentleman friend comes with a boatload of baggage, children who don't dig Dad's girlfriend, an ex wife who won't dig Dad's girlfriend, and a growing impatience with his paramour. Unfortunately, Dad has all the control and doesn't mind telling how you ought to behave.

    You're the perfect lover for him. You're naive, impressionable, inexperienced, and willing to put up with loads of horse poop from this man because you don't know any better. Sorry, but the cynical filter does apply here. You're very young and probably quite sexy, which will drive his ex insane. You have youth and boundless passion, so Dad won't feel quite as dated by the impending divorce. You're unsure of your boundaries, so you're easy to manage. You won't ask for much, just some love and attention, but you'll only get it as his convenience.

    Screw your gentleman's words. Look at his actions. Does he treat you like an adult woman? Does he go out of his way to make you feel special? Has he followed through with any of his smooth talkin'? I hate saying this, but you are the ultimate rebound tryst for this gentleman.

    Go find yourself a man in his twenties who can't wait to come home and cook dinner with you. If you stay inside this mess, you're going to get hurt from so many different directions, it ain't even funny.

    • I hate to admit it but I agree with you completly. I just can't bring my self to walk away even knowing its all a freakin scam or a rebound. this will be the second guy to have really screwed me over...

    • Your eyes are wide open and you know you're going to take some lumps for sticking around. At least you're taking a realistic view toward an unsatisfying ending. By the way, you're smart enough to know when a match smells funny. Fish and in-laws all stink after three days. Take this same approach to new lovers who fail to meet a healthier criteria.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • NOOOOOOOOO! You should leave him ASAP! You are young don't mess with a guy that has kids! You only going to leave with a broken heart! He acts careless, doesn't even express himself to you! That clearly shows that he might be back with his ex, or trying to work it out with her! They have kids together, it is not just about the money! She can't take his kids from him, he could go to court for that and get visits! He BSing with you! It made me feel sad reading this because you said you love him so much! But your ruining your life for somebody that doesn't pretty much care for you! Why you want him to sneak away? Wouldn't it be better to have a man that sees you willingly!

  • That sounds like a bit of a mess. He's got a whole other life that doesn't involve you, and it looks like you're about to get hurt. I would suggest trying your hardest to suck it up and drop him before he can do serious damage. I know that's not an easy thing to do, but he's not giving you the proper attention you should be getting at 21 and he doesn't seem bothered much at all by not seeing you lately. He doesn't sound like he's the right fit for you at this time, but I wish you the best of luck with the situation. Sometimes, circumstances really make love suck.

Loading... ;