How much is too much? (Overview of break-up also included)

I want my ex back. He broke up with me. He really loved me and cared about me, but I kept pushing him away because I wasn't dealing with stress factors properly. It caused a lot of fights at the end, and eventually he had enough and ended it.

I was the needy ex-girlfriend at first, but I stopped after the first week. We work together, but we only had polite conversation when we saw each other. The only time I texted him was about items I wanted back/items I was returning, or work related things.

3 weeks ago was our work Christmas party. We had one brief/polite conversation, but mostly ignored each other. When I was leaving, I went around saying bye to all my co-workers, ex included. When I said bye to him, he followed me asking how I was getting home, if I had somewhere to go, etc. I told him I was getting a ride home, and then he asked me to go outside with him to talk.

He ended up getting really upset. Said he was sorry for hurting me, and that I was an amazing person. That he considered me to be his best friend, and that I could always call him if I ever needed anything. He said he cared about me, and loved me so much. It was overwhelming because prior to this he acted like he didn't care. I mentioned that he had been drinking, and he got upset again and said he wasn't drunk. My ride showed up, and I went home, confused.

The Monday that followed, he and I actually spoke and joked around at work. I couldn't help myself, and asked if he remembered what he said at the party. He said he remembered everything...but then he said I should tell him. I did, and he seemed embarrassed. I asked him if we could speak more at break, and he agreed.

He ended up leaving work early that day, so we didn't have a "talk". When he left work, he texted me saying, "I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I want to be friends and I just want you to know that". My pride got the best of me, and I texted him back saying, "That's not what I wanted to talk about silly".

Time goes on. We text about once a week, me initiating and only about things like items, work, etc. They all turn into a more in depth conversation. He even mentions how he "still owes me that conversation", but I kind of blow it off. He hasn't been at work since that Monday, so I haven't seen him in person for 3 weeks.

Christmas was the first time he initiated a conversation with me. I messaged him Merry Christmas first. He replied a while later, and then about half an hour later asked me about my day. It was a nice conversation, probably the most "flirty" we've had.

Yesterday we had a weird conversation. I mentioned hanging out with guys and how they were playing this game that my ex's roommates like. He called them "gay" and called the guys "cock suckers". I teased him a bit he was just acting strange. I don't know if it was jealousy or whatever, but it was very unlike him.

I was planning to text him again on Sunday. Am I contacting him too much? He always answers, and usually right away. Help?


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  • If you only see him as a friend then contacting him too much is not an issue. Right now, you're still healing from your breakup. Take a break from him.