Friendship ruined? Can it be fixed?

There was a girl (Ashley) I've known for 10 months. I expressed interest in her but she was dating someone else. After the fact, we developed deep rapport and a great friendship. She'd show signs of attraction and I asked to hang out a couple times. She stopped emailing me but was still talking enthusiastically when I saw her. After being so nice to me, she suddenly got mad at me over just going for a coffee recently, accusing me of still hitting on her while she's with another guy. I responded I was only interested in hanging out as friends. We haven't talked since. I'm dating someone else, but value the friendship with Ashley. Can it be fixed with time and space?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think she's being kind of presumptuous in this situation. Yes you liked her and you may even still like her to some degree, but you only asked her out for a coffee. And she accepted. So how can she be mad at you for agreeing to go for coffee? I just don't understand how that's considered hitting on her when she is with someone else :S

    Unless there is more to this situation than what you are telling us, I think she is just being overly sensitive. Maybe her current boyfriend is the jealous type and she confided in him that she and you kind of have or had feelings for one another. And now he is set off by that.

    The best thing to do is to respect the relationship, but you can still talk to her. Keep it respectful though, don't talk about feelings when she is in a relationship.

    I think what's going on is probably the bf's she has are getting jealous of your closeness to their girl. So they tell her she can't see you. This would explain the back and forth and how she can be distant but nice to you at the same time.

    Personally, if I was her I wouldn't let a guy tell me what to do. But if she does have feelings for you she needs to be honest with herself and stop dating other people so that she can sort them out. It's not fair to you or the guys she is dating to give part of her heart to one person and part to another.

    • She agreed to go for coffee, then several days later I sent her a lighthearted email to set a day to meet. That's when she lashed out and harshly rejected to hangout. I told her I care about her and want her to be happy with her boyfriend. In the past she'd hug me, buy me a coffee, tease me, stand close to me when we talked. Despite that I've never expressed feeling for her other than saying I enjoy talking to her and saying she's a wonderful woman. I hope time and space from her will fix things.

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