Guys! What should I do about this?! I accepted a date because I was put on the spot at work...

I accepted a date because I was put on the spot at work. It seemed like a good idea at the time. The guy is a sweetheart and I think highly of him and after thinking of it I know it won't work and I don't want to lead him on. Should I cancel or go on the date knowing I don't want another?

I'm a full time student with a part time job thus having no time at all to date him afterward once school starts.

I found out he's 40 and I'm 25 (he looks a lot younger!) and like I said, I'm a full time student for the next 6 or so years and he's looking for a wife asap.

Our schedules are completely conflicting.

What do you think guys? Would you rather someone cancel before the first date or just decline the second date?

I don't know what to do!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I really don't get why you women change your mind so often about going out on a date. I've had so many women accepting, and then ignoring me. Yes, not even canceling, but just ignoring my phone calls and texts. How can it seem like a good idea at the time, and 12 hours later it suddenly isn't?

    I know that no matter how busy I am I can always free 30 minutes for a coffee, or at least an hour or two in a week.

    If you really don't want to go on that date anymore, you should just be honest and tell him that. Preferably in person. Tell him what you wrote here, that you expect it's not going to work. Keep it honest, simple and short, and let him know asap.

    • Because we're put on the spot at uncomfortable places like work, you're standing there staring at us waiting for an answer and other people are staring at us as well. In that split second you're waiting for the answer we don't have time to consider the potential ramifications of it.

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    • Then you honestly tell him that. It's also a very good reason if you ask me. You may want to leave out the 'poor student' part though, as he may see it as an opportunity in which you two start dating and he offers to help you financially. So don't use it unless you have to.

    • Good call :s

      That would be strange. Thanks!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • If it were me, I would rather you go on the first date and then decline the 2nd one. But I'm a believer in doing something if you said you would. I would be more pissed if you cancelled. Then I would ask why, and you can't use the excuse that you busy that night because that would lead me to believe thay you did want to go out with me, you just genuinly busy. So you would have to say it was a mistake to except. I have been on a few dates where the girl didn't pick up when I called her afterards. That's not that big of a deal.

    • What if we went on the date and you really liked me? You'd be less disappointed afterwards?

      What about the thought of someone going on a date not because they want to but because they said they would?

      He's a gentleman so I'd assume he'd pay (not that I'm expecting it). I don't want him to lose money...

      I like to do what I say as well and expect it from others but it will absolutely only be this one date. Tough call...

    • Well if you do decide to cancell, your going to have to come up with a real reason, not oh I'm really busy with school right now. I think you will seriously have to say, "im sorry but you being 40 is just too much of an age gap for me". Or something like that, you will have to give him a definitive answer as to why you realized you could never go out with him.

    • Our lifestyles are conflicting and it won't work. People don't realize you can't mesh together completely opposite lifestyles...

  • If you don't want to lead him then cancel now.

  • If you already know nothing will happen, better cancel.


What Girls Said 1

  • if you really aren't interested, don't go.

    that age gap is quite large too - weird in my book.