Is it over when he goes distant Or just need space?

As all the advice online says its normal and “its not because he doesn’t care” as that’s what I am feeling now. But all my male freinds say its over, if he really liked you he wudnt pull away, he’s giving you the sign to leave him alone? So don’t know what to belive anymore? Axnciety is killing me!

As my man has gone distant all of a sudden. From have 4 dates, both saying we are like the male\female versions of each other and generally getting on well, and hearing from him Xmas day…….then the distance thing started to happen? Hi sent him one message about 4 days later asking a general msg, he said he didn’t have reception back home (which is a fair point) and saying is “everything OK, haven't heard from you in a couple of days” he said everything was? And asked him one more text to meet up in the city for lunch, and he replied, but was at the other office not in the city which I forgot, but saying “I’m at the other office today so not in London, otherwise I would of course! Hope your OK tho and hopefully we can catch up soon” …….that’s a good reply tho right?

So messaged him back encouragingly “that’s cool, glad you want to meet up still there is that show we wanted to see on if you still wanted to go to that? Have fun tonight (NYE) and save a kiss for me under the mistletoe! hopefully see you in 2013 xx”. Good text right?

For xmas, the guy got me jack wills ear muffs for my present after 3 dates (gave it to me on our 4th) as he knew I’d lost mine………..which is why I don’t understand 3 days later that he’s gone this way?

His best friend from Thailand is back after a year, who he lives with in London but is from back home…….could he just be doing man stuff with him, as on Facebook he’s been with him a lot?

Now……………nothing? 5 days? I'm going to wait a week, but do you think a week isn't long enough? Or that I shouldn't text him? I'm so confused?

My question: how do you know if he’s just being a man and wanting space, or if he’s giving you the sign he’s lost interest?

*How much time is recommended?

We havnt slept together by the way, as everyone says that's why a guy leaves. We had our first kiss on our last date, the 4th date.

What if he just isn't interested anymore? Or is he into me and needs space, how can you tell?

How do you tell the difference tho of if he needs space or is not interested? As both requir him to be silent lol.

And why would he say hopefully catch up soon?

Can't I ask him now, straight out?

This waiting is doing my head in!


Most Helpful Guy

  • First. Any man that is interested does not have a time limit on spending a night together

    It seems like you both had a good time however his responses and lack of interest

    Of getting together does speak loud. I do think your friends are correct. The no contact

    For such a period of time with out an examination screams no interest.

    So I would break off contact until he talks with you again. And then you have a right

    To ask wtf.

    On the bright side , you have nice ear muffs.

    Good luck.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It's unusual for a guy to need space within 4 dates.

    But honestly, I don't see why your fretting. No amount of panic on your side is going to affect what he's feeling. Just ignore the situation until he contacts you, and if that is after too much time has passed, tell him he's missed his chance.


What Girls Said 2

  • Ok, I read this with an open mind and the first thing I though was, its the holidays! I have been in serious relationships, been engaged, and when we first started dating, things started really slow! I have the same problem though, I start to analyze and second guess situations. I think its an insecurity thing of some kind. My best advice, lay back, ya, give it a week. He got you a gift after a few dates? The guy likes you! I think he's just busy with family and friends over the holidays but when the dust has settled, you'll hear from him. Problem is with girls like me and you is we are passionate, so we seek passionate! He may not come on to you as strongly as you'd like but that doesn't mean it won't turn in to something. Whenever those thoughts of oh my gosh, does he like me, he's not writing back...think of the positive, no he's still writing back, I'll hear from him, whatever. And keep yourself busy. Anxiety sucks trust me I know, but don't get cray and run the guy off :)

    • Thank u, I really appreciate that advice! It's hard cos if he said, I'm really busy, I'd be like OK and back away, but the fact he hasn't said anything is why I am reluctant and fear the worse!

  • go for him till you make him love you again and maybe this time more ..ur a girl and you can do anything...if he was the one to approach you first even stick to him more cause players are everywhere and when you stick to him even if he may be a player he is gonna get some lessons and stop playing hearts...i would say go for him..never lose your hope..sooner or later he is doing same on my exbf...go girl ;)..good luck