Not sure if I am insulted or if I insulted her on the second date--opinions?

Its a little bit lengthy but I just can't stop thinking about it so please can someone let me know what they would do?

On the second date a girl came to my house for a movie night dressed in very revealing (slutty) clothes for just a movie night. On both dates we had, she never had any physical contact with me, no touching, kissing or anything, but seemed to have a lot of attraction and a lot in common with one another even down to small life details we seemed like a good match.

Even though I hinted strongly towards contact, by leaning in, placing my hand near hers and even "accidentally" touching her hand when sitting down and she just pulled away. It seemed like we had a good time and everything but was not comfortable yet with being touched. As the night progressed she got absolutely smashed drunk. Being who I am I did not let her drive home and went to bed, which she just followed me into bed and I just expected to fall asleep.

She jumps on top of me 5 min after a small cuddle and starts kissing. Then she offers sex and I said no because I did not want to feel like I was taking advantage of her. She insisted then I said maybe we should take things slow and plus I don't have protection because I was not expecting sex due to no physical contact prior to her jumping on top. She then further said that she was on the pill and we will be fine so I got very suspicious and still said no. In the morning she left with barely a good bye.

The weird thing is I ran into her at the bar a week later (she was wearing a skimpy slutty zebra dress) and she starred at me the whole time according to my friend (about 3 hours) and I even gave her a ride home but haven't heard from her since.

To me being smashed drunk just does not feel right to have sex. I would rather have a relationship then a one night stand.

I am very new to the dating scene and just want to know is it normal to have sex when drunk on a second date?

Am I thinking to much about what happened?

Or should I try to find a girl that can see I have respect for others and am a very caring person?

Thank you for your help.

Hi everyone, Thank you for your help I really appreciate it!

I just need to move on and find someone that deserves to be treated right and can like me for who I am.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you did the right thing. You certainly are a gentleman and many men would have taken full advantage of this girl and then who knows what might have happened? If you don't know her very well otherwise she could say she was raped or who knows that. The way she dresses and presents herself says a lot about the kind of person she is. If she will do that (offer to do that with you on 2nd date when drunk) she's doing it with lots of other guys too. I would beware and keep your distance.


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What Girls Said 4

  • Alright coming from me, I don't think a woman should throw herself at a man like that. She should have a little more respect for herself. People have one night stands all the time but both parties are either drunk or they both agree to it. Do you want a relationship or you're just dating? If you want a relationship then I would not even think twice about choosing her. She might've felt embarrassed because you refused to have sex with her. Yet again if she dresses the way you say then most men won't respect her and to be honest she doesn't respect herself. Look for a girl with a good head on her shoulders and not one that you would have to worry what she is doing with her spare time I.e going to bars or cheating in you. This female doesn't seem like she wants anything serious and you cannot possibly take her serious. I might sound rude but I'm just being honest

  • you don't even know she's angry with u. stop jumping to conclusions and spreading gossip like a silly school by. just talk to her directly. if you care. if not. move on.

    • She's not angry, but I did talk to her after I posted this and she avoided me and said she had a boyfriend.

    • well good for you for directly dealing with it. well done. and sorry. but at least you can move on without and reservations now;-)

  • She seems to be an easy girl with no hint of self respect. A classy girl would never get mad when a boy refuses to have sex with her while she's wasted. You, by the way, are a real gentleman.

    You deserve something much better.

    • if she likes sex and has it often she's acting on her behalf. not against it. that's self rerspect. acting in your interest. it isn't for you to say what her self respect entails. she's not breaking the law. who are you to decide she's got no class. that's your prejudice. not hers.

      you also font know she's angry with him. you made that up yourself. you're just jumping to conclusions and being self righteous for no reason.

      QA you did nothing wrong. if you want to know why she hasn't spoke-ask, why the games?

    • Toulouse, I have no problems with sex at all. Just something did not feel right and I barely knew her. If she seen I did it out of respect and just wanted more trust between us then I would have satisfied her to my best abilities no problem. But if she also likes sex that much then I think I should be cautious too. After the 2nd date as well she played the 5 hour text wait game (sorry I left that out). She commented on the date then waited 5 hours between her texts to reply then just stopped.

  • i think you did the right thing she shouldn't have wore that outfit


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