Should I be concerned about this?

First of all before I go on, I have anxiety and I am very insecure.I have been like this in all relationships, it doesn't matter the person. It's just something that I have been trying to work on for years.Guys I've dated get really annoyed after a while,which is fair enough..But I've been having trouble with my boyfriend and my insecurities, he has mentioned he hopes they get better.I know they have been driving him insane.But on nye, he got this app Viber and he then got a normal text message, from this girl.I was right next too him and I said what's she saying?He said it's a bit rude but she had said" I have a glow stick in between my boobs"(she was drunk obviously).That made me angry seeing that, I'd also noticed in the texts that he had invited her to use Viber. I asked about it and he said it invites everyone..Anyway, he said he wasn't going to reply to her.I couldn't help myself and check and it looked like he had replied to her but deleted the message,because of the next message she then sent. The next morning she also sent him a message saying "Did you get a new years kiss?"I asked him why and I asked so many questions saying why aren't you reassuring me?Is she flirting with you?And he said I don't know, he started to get annoyed and said it's f****** annoying.I then said sorry and then he said it's alright..

Even still though, this girl has a boyfriend as well.I also noticed a few months ago my boyfriend was texting her but he deleted the messages.He has done something similar before..I understand if he does this because he knows how insecure I am but it's hard not to worry. I then realized that on Viber you don't invite everyone, you invite them individually. I said that too him and then I said "hmm interesting". He got annoyed, snapped at me and said "f****** annoying". I turned it around to make it sound like I wasn't been insecure..He then apologized and said, "Oh I thought you were suggesting I'd gone and just added people". I feel like he wouldn't cheat but I can't help but worry. There are reasons why he has added to my insecurity, I do make it worse for myself though. Now I don't know if they are talking behind my back or what,I can't talk to him about it, he will get so angry.I just can't let it go.Should I be concerned?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok insecurity and anxiety are two different things, but they are always related!

    I am not sure what kind of anxiety you have but my suggestion is that you should go

    See a psychiatrist and get medicated. I know it sounds bad but is there any other option?

    I mean how long you wanna live like this? I believe that you deserve a much better life.

    Normally these kinda problems can’t be fixed with will power and self help. You need medication!

    It takes only 6 months and then you are probably fixed and won’t need to take the medication any more.

    2) Buy a good self-esteem book. There are plenty of them on Amazon I suggest Mattew Mackay, it’s only$12 on Amazon.

    • Thanks but I already am and there is no "fix". I've been battling like this for several years.

    • so you are saying you have used anti anxiety medications and they didn't work?kinda not possible.

      ps: getting fixed or being at the point in life that there is no pain is unrealistic. everybody has some sorta pain! you are not an exception. I have ADD, OCD and general anxiety! all together! none of my disorders are gonna be fixed and I need to take medications for rest of my life but this is life and I am fighting with it and I am only 21.

    • Ahh yeah it is possible.. not all medications work, mine only just gets me through each day. But I'm not fixed. And you don't know me and you don't know what I am also dealing with, I'm not here to compare or debate okay.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think you are insecure. I think you're dating people who make you feel that way.

    If it were me, I would not date people who make me feel like I can't trust them.

    • I am I can assure you, I am insecure about things even when I'm single..

    • but now that I think about it, there is a lot of reasons why I feel this way, from past relationships and for how my boyfriend has made me feel. He had done a lot at the start of the relationship, to try and make me feel secure, he did what he could. And it helped a bit and I guess I got worse when I started seeing signs that were some what alarming, ever since then my insecurities have been worse.So I don't know what to do.It's me and it's them contributing.

  • Yes you're insecure and needy to the extreme. So please get your act together. Your boyfriend did a lot of wrong, but your insecurity just quadrupled everything.

    • Well you obviously don't understand what it's like to have anxiety then and don't know someones situation, all you know is what you have read on here. And my boyfriend did a lot of wrong in your opinion?Hm.

    • I understand you could be very anxious in a situation like this. All I'm saying is that your insecurity is making this seem like a much bigger deal than it really is. If you approach it differently it might just all blow over in a couple of days. And I'm sorry if I wrongly accused your boyfriend. I'm no one to judge. If anyone knows him best it should be you. Should you be concerned? Not really. If he was faithful then great. If he flirted, well...he's a guy, and guys like to flirt.

    • It's okay, I'm an anxious person I jump to conclusions anyway lol.Yeah I know see things are so much bigger in my eyes, where as, to other people it wouldn't bother them, things are a much bigger deal to me unfortunately.I guess I just don't know if I really have something to worry about he has given me some signs that have made me even more a bit suspiscious,weird thing is, I feel that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me,yet I can't let go at the thought of he might or has.

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