So, when does a "non-date" become a date?

My room mate txt'd me Friday afternoon, telling me she was having a guy over to our apartment Sat afternoon/night and I needed to make myself scarce...

I was complaining to some people at work that all my other friends are away at school or already have plans and one of the Sales guys told me his plans fell through and invited me to hang out with him.

Dinner, maybe a movie or some games.. just hang out.

We are friends at work, have only hung out a couple times in groups outside of work, and he really only ever flirted with me for about 2 weeks, 6 months ago.

Get to his place, he is making pasta, but with a gourmet pumpkin sauce instead of marinara or alfredo.. He had a bottle of wine ready... But we talked about work, music, we even got onto history... and instead of a movie, we actually watched some history documentaries..

I don't know if it was the wine.. my loneliness.. or some superior gameplay on his part.. but somewhere along the line, I ended up leaning into him.. and then kissing him..


Most Helpful Guy

  • When you're involved, pretty early on I'd guess.

    But a platonic non date between opposite sex people who are somewhat attracted involving alcohol and happening at one of their homes?


    • So, I was just naive then? When we set this up, I totally saw it as just somewhere to be, something to do, on a Saturday night when I had nothing on the go and had to be out...

    • You're hot. Men who are alone drinking with you are a going to try something. Period.

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What Guys Said 3

  • If I were him I'd think we were just hanging out, but he was obviously open to other things. The wine may show he was trying to impress you, unless wine is trivial to him.

  • He invited you over for dinner, wine, and a movie. How is this NOT a date?

    So how did it turn out, did he kiss you back, did he pull away, did you spend the night?

    • I dunno, the whole situation, I needed somewhere to hang out and a meal... Honestly, when we set this up, it didn't feel like we were setting up a date at all.

  • Lok that's obviously a date... Wine?

    • You don't drink when you hang out with friends?

    • No. Alcohal in any form between male and female friends one on one is either for date rape or seduction.

    • Not where I live... Alcohol is something to drink lol..

What Girls Said 2

  • so what was wrong with that? This sounds like a story and not really a question. Girl if some guy starts cooking for me its usually some kinda date, or he has some kinda 'sleep with me' intentions even in the background, or future, unless its a room full of other people.

    • I get what you are saying, I totally do, but the whole planning of the evening, didn't feel like a date.. and I knew he was going to cook, I knew there would be wine.. It was just a hang out.. just chilling... but sometime during the night, it changed... I mean, its not like I was watching him cook and it dawned on me that this was actually a date..

      The first kiss... just happened...

    • Good for u, tho I feel like it was on his mind to make you something special and let feelings carry over

  • It's not a real date. That's something guys do when they don't want to "waste" money going on a real date with you.

    "he told you one of his plans fell through so he invited you on a date"

    Lol that sounds horrible. It's like you were 2nd choice, better than doing nothing.

    Besides you hardly know him. Being work friends doesn't mean you know him well.i'm glad this guy did not get violent with you, but in the future don't make a habit of going to guys houses early on.there are plenty of guys who wouldn't have acted like gentlemen

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