Have I just been lead on for a whole 8 months?

8 months ago I met this guy called shaun and we bassicaly started talking and texting non-stop after 2 weeks of meeting each other , he always sent me all these cute text messages and I would always wake up to a "good morning beautiful " text from him and we would always text each other in class (we are not in the same classes) and after four months we got pretty serious and we started acting more like we were in a relationship kissing hugging etc.. and he always used to call me "his girl" and say "he didn't want any other girl but me" and I even went and saw him in hospital when he was sick but I don't know what happend 4 weeks ago when summer holidays started we just kind of drifted away from each other and texted less and less so after about a week when we started texting less I decided to ask him why we hardley talk anymore and he just said "sorry babe I've been at work a lot " , but from looking at his Facebook profile he seems to have a lot of time, but anyway then after a week later he made a Facebook status saying "single for me is the way to go for now" , I got really angrey considering the night before that we were talking and it was all fine but even after that we were still fine but now we don't talk at all , we haven't spoken in 2 weeks now and that's so unusual but I really didn't think he was leading me on as he always tried to invite me out with his friends but I could never go , but when he would invite me out to places he would say "please come as all my mates have girlfriends and I don't want to be left out :( " so I just assumed he was leading me on as he was happy to introduce me to his mates ,but I'm really not sure what happend I think we both just stopped talking ..i really want to text him and say I miss you but I think that would be a bad idea ..but then again I don't want to be wondering what even happend and regretting just giving up on him, and 8 months seems like a long time to be leading on somone aswel;


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) 8 months without having sex? That's a tragically long time to not be intimate. If this was your choice then it's possible he slowly lost interest.

    2) Dating isn't marriage nor is it a life-long commitment. People change. Marriages end. Sometimes things don't work out.

    3) If your relationship didn't evolve to include deep and sincere conversations about each others' expectations (which I assume it didn't since you don't feel safe enough to ask him what's going on) then perhaps this might be something to work on with your next guy? The more open and honest you allow each other to be the easier it is to avoid relationships that fail without warning.

    This won't prevent future relationships from evolving and changing, but it'll prevent you from being so surprised if it does.

    4) If you want to really get to the bottom of his lost interest you're going to have to ask him about it... just don't come across as a needy emotional vampire looking to drain him of his will or pressuring him to confess his sins. He won't open up unless you're being open, un-judgemental, and hopefully as unemotional as possible.

    Fall apart later if you must, but hide it if he's claiming up and worried about being honest... cause he won't want to tell you the truth if he thinks you're going to explode in tears or rage with anger.

    But what the hell do I know!?

    5) 8 months isn't a waste if you enjoyed yourself, if you were being your best self, and if you learned something that will help your next relationship.

    Too many people seem to keep a death grip on their relationships like their time with someone is a long-term investment... instead of realizing their returns are immediate and too oft unseen in the moment. Enjoy who you're with when you're with them, and then move on quickly should things change.

    I hope you recover quick 'cause life is too short,

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )


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What Guys Said 3

  • Yes, true, 8 months seems like a long time to be leading on someone.

    It may be true that he has just gotten busy. Also, you can always text/call him when you really want to. He'll reply, that what I guarantee.

    Also, don't always maximize your conversation through texting. Always find time to hang out with him as that is the only way to bond both of you closer, and strengthens the connection with each other.

  • He lost interest, and he just kinda uses you as a last minute resort to avoid flying solo. You're wasting your time. And if you're sleeping with him, you are being used too. Let him go, and find someone else.

  • It just seems like he slowly lost interest. That's not all that uncommon. If you guys didn't have sex then he didn't lead you on. It just didn't get deeper.


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