How do you break someone up?

Weird question, I know, but it's about my brother. He's dating a really nasty girl, but he can't see that. She has heaps of problems, and he thinks he can "fix" them (in fact, he thinks he has already). But she is extremely high maintenance, needs to be taken out at least three times a week, and requires constant holidays (expensive ones, too). She's also really vindictive- she hasn't spoken to me since she found out I made better cookies than her! Ever since they started dating he's been fighting more with our mom, too, and quite frankly it's not a healthy relationship, but he thinks he needs to settle down (he's 21!)

We're worried that she's holding him back (he dropped out of uni when she did), and that she just generally isn't someone anyone should be dating. Is there anything we can do?


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  • You can't do anything too obvious to break them up. That will only cause him to put her on a pedestal and to resent you for breaking them apart. But if what you're saying is true, she does sound like an awful influence. Try to understand them both, like what is this girl giving your brother that he's not getting anywhere else? And what exactly is keeping them together? Once you understand them, and the dynamics of their relationship, you can start waging your sneaky war in the dark ;)