What are some concerns women have about dating/social skills?

i'm writing a full length book about dating and social skills.

i used to be someone who was very socially awkward, anti-social, couldn't relate to people, couldn't make friends. Now I've improved dramatically.

As I was writing the book , I realized that it had a dominantly male perspective and a some of the things I wrote in the book were mainly about problems that men face.

i'm a male. and 90% of my friends have been men, so I'm looking for a female perspective.

what concerns do women have about dating and social skills? what confusion do women have when it comes to social customs and interacting with people? that are exclusive to women and not to men.



Most Helpful Guy

  • Err, why don't you start by typing in the female equivalent of "how to get her to put out more" into Google --> "how to get him to commit"

    You're bound to come up with articles written by women, giving other women advice, about men. I know, but the hilariousness continues - I promise - you just have to keep reading.

    The problem is that when most women give women advice, it's not real advice. When women give out advice, it has some agenda. Sometimes that agenda is blatantly obvious, sometimes it's more subtle. In short, what women are telling other women is NOT what men want, is not how men work, nor how to have a happy relationship. All that women tell other women is: (1) sympathy for female issues in relationships and dating, and (2) support for asking for what women want out of dating, and (3) Pavlov-type animal conditioning techniques applied to men in order for women to get what they want (marriage) from a man in return for what they think men want (sex), all while finding reasons and justifications to convince themselves that they are somehow different than the ordinary street prostitute who does the same thing but is just honest about it, or simultaneously struggle to reconcile wanting to have the female-favoritism of 1800's dating customs with wanting to also have the gender-equality of 2000's social relationships.

    Grab a copy of "The Rules," and "The Rules 2," and then after you're done reading them, grab a copy of JWOW's book on dating, after you're done with that, grab a copy of Esther Vilar's "The Manipulated Man."

    I believe there was a NY Times article recently about The End of Courtship (or Dating), or something like that. The conservative authors were apparently shocked to find out that dating and marriage are becoming things of the past. From an academic stand-point, the question is not "why NOT date/marry," but instead "why date/marry?" The burden of proof always has to be on the proponent of an argument, otherwise you end up with - "Glass is a liquid, prove me wrong." Men have woken up and realized that dating and marriage just don't make sense for them anymore. Those are not activities that are "mutually beneficial," which is just a nice way of saying, "don't benefit the man anywhere near how much they benefit the woman." So, it's not exactly shocking that men aren't lining up by the dozens to fight over the prospect of dating a woman. Just think about it, that's like being surprised that gorgeous women aren't lining up at the prospect of blowing your penis, with little to no sexual pleasure for themselves of any kind. Why should they? What's their benefit from sexual activity?

    On top of that, men don't read books! So, from a business perspective, the books-for-men market is a very small one. That's why Steve Harvey is smart. He writes books for women, by a man, feeding women exactly what they want to hear. Because women don't want advice, they want reinforcement and support. That's why he's selling books


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What Girls Said 2

  • A lot of females with poor social skills seem to not develop into adult women when it comes to relating to men. They admire and have crushes on guys, but they don't learn how to navigate interactions with them. Many have more of "childhood" type crushes on guys, even into young adulthood. Some do not do a good job of realizing how important appearance is in the dating world, others realize it, but use a poor apperance to avoid attention.

    Also, females, in general, are shown to be better at reading facial expressions and subtle communication cues, but there are definitely females who are not so keen at this. They are generally overlooked completely by men, which is why so many men insist that there aren't socially awkward girls. There are, they just don't seem to "count."

  • How to appear the perfect balance between good girl and bad girl. How to show interest without looking desperate. How to progress the relationship without looking like a slut. How long to wait to have sex so that you don't get used. How long is appropriate to wait for commitment so as not to mvoe too fast, but not wait so long that you realize you're just stuck as a FWB.

    Women have to walk a tight rope in order to be that perfect girl that a guy would want to date, and avoid being used for sex.

    • well said,. I will include all these things in book.

What Guys Said 1

  • Couldn't you just look at months and months of female questions on this site to get the answers you seek?