Should I pursue someone I still have feelings for even though we ended 9 months ago?

theres a man who lives in a different city and we were seeing each other but things went bad because he was hooking up with other girls and I got very upset and we stopped talking for a while.

I forgave him because the reality is that we were not in a relationship yet, and I myself have hooked up with other guys while we were 'seeing' each other (e.g..talking not the phone/texting every day)

I find myself contacting him regularly because I care for him deeply and think about him often. I have dated other guys but I haven't found someone who I feel as strongly for. I told this guy I still have feelings for him and he claims he does have feelings for me too as well. I do know that he has also dated other women and probably hooked up with many - as he is very attractive and popular with women.

I don't know what to do. do you think I should pursue him, go fly to see him, or do I forget him? I'm scared that I will get hurt by him again. I'm not sure if what I am feeling is just a matter of wanting what I can't have - or am I truly crazy about him. I am so confused.


Most Helpful Guy

  • To make it really work out for you, I think you should go and see him.

    By spending time with him, attraction will increase, your bond will get stronger, and it will cause him to focus his time and attention to you only. Spend time with him by going out and pursue your interests like your sports/hobby/interest, go watch movie and have dates.

    If you're going to forget him, I think you'll just regret it at the latter part of your life and it will hurt a lot.

    • good point, I think I will go see him when I eventually get time off work. I'm just a bit scared. thanks:)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Work on your emotion and try an determine if you can see a real future with him, or is this a lonely feelings you need to feel better. there is a big differences between the two.

    • yeah that's so true, I'm confused whether I am just lonely or do I care about him. Sometimes when I think of him I feel like crying, even talking about him to my friends makes me want to cry. so I do think I feel for him but I am not sure whether he is right for me...

      thank you :)

    • This is usually one battle all women go through is Their Emotions vs their Inutition :P

      Which is both a Gift and a Curse. I'm sure you'll find your answer, just don't have no regrets.

  • All you can do is go see him in person & find out. Just make sure he knows you're coming.

    • yeah I think that may be the best option, deep down inside that's what I really want to do, I miss him so much. But I am scared when I see him my feelings will grow stronger and I will be back at square one - hurting and not knowing where I stand. he is very hard to read. he bottles up his emotions... thanks for responding :)

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