What is a standard amount of contact with a guy you've only started to go on dates with?

I met a guy on an online dating website. We talked for ages on faceb ook before we actually met up, but when we did eventually, we got on really well and said we'd meet up again. That was 8 days ago and I've only had a few short conversations on Facebook since. I haven't spoken to him for 3 days now.

I've met lots of guys like this and usually write them off as not interested if we're meeting up too infrequently..but then on the flip side I meet a tonne of guys who text you every day and message you the second you log in. I actually find this worse, as it comes across really desperate. I'm not coming across many guys who fall into the middle ground of two extremes.

So I'm basically wondering, is it normal for a guy who isn't desperate (although I don't think he's seeing other people) to space out dates and not talk to you a whole lot until they go on more dates with you and get to know you better? Or does this kind of situation mean you're a backup plan?


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What Guys Said 2

  • well he's probably trying to avoid being seen as desperate, which as youve pointed out, doesn't usually come across well.

    since us guys find it a mystery to when that sweet spot is between too much talking and not enough talking, he's taking the safe way

    HARDLY talking but organizing dates at the same time, you stay interested because you know your going to see him soon, yet you don't get annoyed at his over attention because he's hardly talking.

  • You're not a backup plan for him. He just wants to take things slowly until he gets to know you better.


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