What am I missing? Girls are indifferent about me and I don't know how to hang on...

Hi you all, I need some help here.

I don't know why, but I have the worst luck with girls ever. It's so bad that I didn't ever have a girlfriend - I'm 19.

I thought My problem was consistency - I no longer think so after I hit on so many girls already. Several dozens...

Then I was thinking that maybe I'm just not good enough because I don't have enough class. So I thought that after I'll join to the military of my country and end up in a good job there maybe then I'll get lucky. It didn't work as well as I thought it'd be. I got to some very fancy unit and got promoted to the next rank after only a month. Apparently the job, the uniform and a protector of our nation aura doesn't do the trick with the ladies...

I don't have something like social anxiety I am capable of talking with people. In fact I'm a master when it comes to giving speeches in front of many people. After I speak people go out of their way to tell me how good I was and that I should be an orator.

About the looks I'm pretty confident. Never saw a problem there I know how to dress well with or without a uniform.

l go to clubs of people with the same interests as me. No interested girl over the horizon there...

So what the hell am I missing here!? I really don't know how to go on from here. Girls are still not showing any interest with me. Hell I've never even got to go on a date. Not because I didn't ask but because either I got rejected or they just lost interest.

This is just ridiculous I think I should be able to get girls. And my requests are pretty reasonable it's not that I have eyes only for top models.

This whole situation makes me so sad sometimes. My family members bring this issue up sometimes. They think it's very weird that I never brought a girl home because I've achieved so much for my young age. Among friends and colleagues I never talk about it because they have this fantasy that I probably have this killer knockout girlfriend that I'm hiding from them and I let them believe so because they'd most likely use it to ridicule me.

Is there anything can do to finally get there? Is there something I'm missing? I'm really lost and don't know how to get going with dating.


Most Helpful Girl

  • My question is, do you know how to flirt? Most girls, young and old, respond to flirting. And this skill makes any man more attractive and smart than how he looks. An attractive young man who's so shy, insecure or quite serious and quiet is less attractive for most girls. Or they gives off a negative vibe. Flirtatious is actually OK and normal. Just don't go overboard. Know what most girls love to hear and be authentic. If you have good looking female friends, ask them what they like in a man. A likable man has this charm because he knows how to flirt and makes sure he's authentic. When he gives compliments, he means it. And when he sees a woman, he smiles at her coyly and look her in the eye.

    • No I don't know how to flirt. I always viewed it as fake and pointless. And even when I try to flirt I almost always fails. Either I don't know how to continue from where I started or she reacts poorly and that gets all of the motivation out of my sails...

    • Show All
    • Ok, thank you. Do you have perhaps some practical advise that'd help me get started? Or even something I can research myself. I'm afraid I'm terrible at it. I don't even know how should I approach a girl in a flirtatious manner but only in a bold and most serious way.

    • find some interesting articles on ehow.com or wikihow.com about flirting and what women look for in a guy. I personally like men who are funny and makes me smile. Smile a lot, don't be too shy, flash a big grin to fake confidence and to convince yourself that you are confident. You're young and it takes practice and experience to be better.. Don't rush things, the right girl is out there for you..trust me. ;)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Women don't really care for desperate guys. Maybe you appear too eager? Have you tried online dating. There are a few sites for serious daters, however, looks are an important part of dating period. You will need to submit pictures.

  • A picture might help with this. Guys are more likely to overlook the looks department.

    • No thanks. As I mentioned dressing and stuff is definitely a strong point of mine. In fact I'm sure I'll look good wearing dirt.

      Besides it's already bad enough that I revealed I'm military personnel. Posting a picture could get me into some serious trouble.

    • I think you already realize that clothes are only a small piece of the looks puzzle. Would a fat, ugly girl with a great wardrobe be considered good looking to you? This is what I mean by a picture would help. Guys don't seem to realize the importance, nor how they appear to women.

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm a bartender by trade. I feel I've seen most situations when it comes to both sides of the dating pool. That's good that you have things going for you. It also makes things easier when you're not afraid to engage in conversation with the opposite sex. It sounds to me you don't know your basics with picking a girl up. Here is the process broken down to military style steps. Step one first impression! First impression is eye contact and a smile. Go up to her and introduce yourself: hello, I noticed you across the room and I had to come over and meet you. My name is (your name), then wait for her to tell you hers. OK now step 2:"I've got to be across town for a navy officers meeting but would love to continue this over dinner(or lunch) this weekend if you're available. There's this new place that opened down the street(tell her the name) and I've been wanting to try the food. Do you want to go? You shouldn't even have to ask if she wants to go,she should be writing her number down for you by this time. If you have that conversation with 10 beautiful knock out women,you should have at least half of them as dates. Don't show off, just be honest and be yourself. Also look her in the eyes, eye contact is huge with women. Eyes are the gateway to the soul. Girls want a man that's real! Follow this and you should be asking how to getaway from women.

    • Yeah... Perhaps I do lack those basic skills. You think I should buy one of those PUA plans that promise to give you the skills to succeed with the ladies? I know it's probably pure bs but maybe pouring money onto the issue will solve it...

    • That's the kind of answer I would punch you in the face for asking. Either your trolling or you're an idiot,either way not good. Pull your head out of your ass and follow the above instructions. You don't need to buy a damn book to ask a woman to dinner! It's not rocket science! She will either say yes or say no. Follow the instructions I gave you and she will think you're confident,interesting,important(by having to be someplace)and interested in her.

    • No trolling. It's just that I had failed so much that I'm starting to wonder whether I need professional help.

      By the way, I'm not an officer - not yet anyways... But I get your point. I'll try it out ASAP.

  • Well its just in your mind, its nothing that is particular to you. Maybe because of successive rejections you've lost your inherent charm. Just try to be more appealing, less from words and more from body language. Don't overdo anything, you got a good personality use it to charm but remember don't praise yourself much. Have your confidence and go ask them out and don't worry about the rejections. You're going to learn something from them for the better. Good luck

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