How to salvage this?

There is this guy I was talking to for a few days and we went on a date and ended up watching movies in his room. It was like 4am when the movies finished and we just cuddled through the whole movie but when the credits played, we kissed and made out on his bed. But the kiss kinda freaked me out because it went a bit too fast for my liking. Then, he took me home and we kissed good night.

So then I started talking to him less over the next 5 days and eventually stopped talking to him completely. I didn't want to lead him on if I didn't know my feelings for him. I needed some time to sort out my feelings so eventually a few more days later I realized that he was a good guy and he was still always there for me and helped me out and whatnot.

Anyway, after another week, I recently started talking to him again and things are a bit different now. I think he thought that I wasn't interested in him which I understand. I understand that he shouldn't be so excited to start talking to me again either because of the fact that I was the one who stopped talking to him.

I don't know, a lot of "what if's" play into this situation as well. Though all of this happened within this month, I feel like a lot has changed because we used to talk to each other all day, every day from morning until we fall asleep but now I'm lucky to get a text from him every few hours. I don't know if he's into another girl by now or maybe he's over me. Can I salvage this? Or has my window of opportunity closed and the ship has sailed? I think I just screwed up with my timing but I would really like to try things with him again.


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is kind of like the glass is half empty/full.

    If I were you, try to get back to talking and texting a lot again. Don't rush right into the relationship part. He is avoiding you just in case his heart gets broken again...

    Flirt a little and see what his reactions are. This will tell him that you are still interested in him, and haven't lost that spark.

    While talking/texting, ask him about any girls.

    That should solve the problem. :)

    I've also been through something like this. ha ha :/


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What Guys Said 2

  • your windows pretty much over, doing this to nice guys, is a Big no no. Its one thing to feel uncomfortable, but you should of explained it to him instead of avoiding him, and somewhat changing.

    He may still contact you but, his feelings, may change in ways to confuse you, like you confused him.

    • I didn't necessarily avoid him :/ I just stopped texting him every day but I still saw him and we talked to each other in person. And a little over a week ago, which was about 10 days after our kiss, he was so nice and took me home when I was drunk and didn't even try to take advantage of that situation. I don't know, I guess I understand if the window's closed and he doesn't feel the same way anymore. Thanks for your input! :)

    • I wish you the best, I had a lot windows close on girls who avoided me, and many had regrets. I'm still friends but won't open up to them with my heart.

  • Your windows is pretty much open.

    Spend a lot of time with him, and talk with him a lot.

    Also, hang out a lot. Those are some of the things you can do to salvage your waning relationship to each other.

    • Thanks for your advice! :D He's been kind of dull, like he's not interested in talking to me... :( I don't know what to do. He said he's been busy and a lot has been going on but I feel like if he wanted to talk to me to, he'd reciprocate the same effort I'm putting in? Or should I put in more effort since it's my fault we stopped talking in the first place? I just don't want to annoy him, that's the last thing I want to do.

    • I think you should put more effort.

      By ignoring him for the last week, I'm sure he got the message that you're not interested in him, and you're just being nice now.

    • SIGH! I genuinely like him now... I guess I have to risk looking like a fool for this guy, huh? Thank you so much for your thoughts :)

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