How do I stop getting guys from mistaking kindness for my wanting to date them?

I'm a nice person. I'm nice to everyone unless they given me reasons not to be. I treat everyone the same, generally in the way I would like to be treated and I suppose I'm very friendly as I keep being told I am.

Guys keep mistaking this for me wanting to date them and it's starting to drive me crazy!

I'm vocal to all about how I'm not interested in dating ANYONE at this point of my life. I constantly drop hints to that effect when I feel as though they may be starting to like me yet they choose to ignore that and ask me out anyway.

I say no, and then they choose not to hear this and hold on to false hope BECAUSE I AM NICE then they wait a bit and ask me out again and again I say no.

I am not flirty, I am just nice. I do not initiate any contact, friendship or anything and I feel like they're over reading something that is not there.

How do I get guys to stop misinterpreting friendliness that I give to everyone for my desire to date them!?

(I also don't think it's feasible to constantly sit guys down and explain to them time and time again that I don't want to date them and never will.)


Most Helpful Guy

  • LOL you sound like me, I just like being friendly, am always wiling to help people as much as I can.

    Some girls, hit on me an get jealous when I treat other girls the same, I often follow my heart, an enjoy being single atm.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • It must not be of only of your kindness that they want to date you, it must be that you're really beautiful as well.

    And, for now, you just need to reject them as soon as they keep on coming. It should keep them at a distance.

  • Keep being friendly but when you notice that he is starting to like try to ignore them a few times..this would confuse them in a way.. But after you ignore him say that your sorry because might ruin his day


What Girls Said 2

  • Just keep saying no and try saying it more assertively. You can keep letting them down nicely but it won't stop them unless you tell them straight up you're not interested, with a smile, of course.

  • Both you and our MHO friend up there do secretly want to date those people. You might know it or you might not. But you want to and are ignoring and denying it or have lots of dating anxiety. You may even be seriously depressed.
    Either that, or you crave the attention you get from those people, and enjoy exciting and arousing them. It's such a boost to the ego. Also most people will do a lot more for you in such situations than they normally do, so you also reap more benefits.
    Let's be honest. How 'bout it?
    FYI, the people you manipulate like that know what you're up to, and even though they can't resist you, they still hate you for it.

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