Lonely for a long time...?

There was a guy I started to develop feelings for, there was a misunderstanding and we never dated. He's now with another girl and it doesn't bug me but it doesn't feel right at the same time. He once told me that if I keep cutting people off I'll be 26 and lonely and that I need to stop acting like that.

I was at a military ball today and basically everybody from my unit left me except for a couple, so I ended up being the 3rd wheel. When the slow songs started I would always go and sit down and play on my phone because I didn't have anything else to do or anybody else to talk to. I realized that I didn't really give the guy a big chance, I didn't open up much at all but I don't know why. The kid never had any problems with me before and there was no reason for me to hold back as much as I did but I just didn't wanna talk to him about anything personal.

I did have a messed up relationship that ended about a year ago, but he didn't cheat on me or anything, he was just always suspicious and jealous.

So does anybody have any idea of why I do that?

Because it hurt way to much to sit there by myself on my phone while just about everybody there was dancing with their date.


Most Helpful Guy

  • When your in a situation like that, don't wait for a "group" or a guy to come to you. Everyone left you because they either found someone to dance with or be with more friends. The whole idea of dances is to go out and meet people and new friends. Just because you're alone doesn't mean to sit in a corner, mope about how alone you are, and play on your phone.

    Get up, walk around and get noticed by guys and other people. Better yet find a group of people who are dancing and having a good time, and just dance with them. Learn how to find the party, not for the party to come to you.

    • That's not why they left lol one left because he knew he wouldn't like the dance,another left because his dad needed him and a soon-to-be couple left because the guy wanted to talk to her. My date was the one that left to help his dad(before the dance started) and we'd been to dances before and had a great time :/ but ok

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What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds like you shut guys off because you are scared of another 'messed up relationship'. I think of loneliness as more of a life choice, its easy to sit about on your computer and do nothing. It easy to look at your phone in awkward situations because you are embarrassed to deal it. You can be lonely all you want but its up to you to make a change. I guess you are still at school since you are 'under 18' and that's probably the hardest place to make friends but just be cool, relaxed and polite and you can fit in with any group. It's up to you to make the move to chat to people, its unlikely a group of people are going to see you sitting on your own and decide to come over and chat. Be innovative show people how confident and fun you are to be with!.

    it's easy, good luck.

  • It sounds like you're just afraid of being hurt. I knew lots of girls like this, and you definitely gotta open up, hun. You don't have to give your heart to every guy, just give a guy a chance to prove himself. Check the way he behaves when he's not around you, etc.

    You're a pretty girl, so just open yourself up, make it easy for nice guys (Bad boys are overrated). Good luck!


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