After a certain age, is it possible to be friends with someone before you date them?

My roommate and I were having this discussion, and she said that she couldn't date someone she wasn't friends with first.

I see the merit in this, but after a certain age, I don't see how this is very possible.

It is more possible in say, high school where you are around the same cohort/group of friends and are associating with a regular group of people on a regular basis.

However, in the real world, I have never seen it as a possibility to meet someone, be mutually attracted to them, and insist on staying friends first before we even consider dating.

What are your opinions on the issue?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, I was kind of friends with my boyfriend before we started dating. I knew him like a month and a half before he asked me out. I think the goal of being friends first is to get to know someone beyond just initial looks to see if dating them would be worth it. It saves a lot of time and money in the long run, because if you don't like someone enough to be friends with you certainly won't like them enough to stay in a long term relationship.


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  • I'm a freshman in college and I'm unsure but I see the merit in what you're saying.

    I'd definitely like to get to know a guy as a friend before dating. But making friends with guys isn't easy because as you get older you tend to quickly evaluate whether or not you'd date a member of the opposite sex upon meeting them. If a guy has already made up his mind he will either pursue too soon or never pursue. So basically you're stuck with the friends you already have.

  • It is completely possible. Personally I need to know the guy I'm interested in isn't a creep, and it's pretty hard to determine that on first meeting. Casually dating is a good idea too. You could be friends with someone you met at work or something, develop a friendship & fall in love, it does happen.

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