On online dating......

guys (girls can answer too), if a girl agrees to exchange photos (normal photos) via email with you but before she send you her photos, she sends you a "warning" about her race and that she is a little bit chubby. and if he's still might interested then she will send her the photos. What would you think?

I do this to protect myself and to give the guy a little warning, you know, since I know I'm not what most guys in my area want. so if they are looking for girls from a specific racial group or really can't tolerate chubby girls, they can just leave me alone. But I also think this makes me sound insecure, which I am, when it comes to my appearance and first impressions. If a girl you've been talking to online says this, what do you think it says about her?


Most Helpful Guy

  • it does make you sound a little insecure. not there is necessarily anything wrong with it.

    I think you should work on your confidence not to send out this disclaimer. It's really an unecessary announcement that doesn't protect you either way. If a guy gets to know you to the point that he's ready to see pics of you and vice versa then if he can't deal with your race and weight then that's on him.

    In future dealings try to find organic ways of bringing up your race. Either mentioning in your profile or somehow alluding to something in your life that will shed light on your race. But it does come across a bit insecure if a girl sends that as a precurser to sending pictures.

    • most guys ask for pictures after 3 or 4 not-so-long messages, so that's why I told them that. so if they think they wouldn't be interested then I can spare myself the pain of being rejected because of my looks.

      but you do make good points on indicating my race without mentioning it. Thanks!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes, it means she'll a little insecure, but so are a lot of girls in that situation.

    Honestly, you could totally avoid that by posting a couple of tasteful pictures in your online profile (I assume that you met him on some kind of online dating site). That way, you don't end up wasting each others' time if things aren't going to work out for that reason.

    • I really don't want to put up an picture on my profile, because online dating seems desperate to me, and althouth I am a little desperate, I wouldn't want someone I know stumble upon my photo and knows that I'm desperate lol

      and not wasting each others' time and effort is exactly why I usually give them the "warning".

    • I can't count all the contradictions in your reply, but there are lots of them. Do whatever you want, but don't be surprised if you have less success doing it your way.

  • It makes me think that she doesn't want to get rejected by her looks alone. If she knows it's possible, the warning part sets up the rejection so it's not as hard to take, and if he still is interested then that's great too.


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