I was seeing one of my neighbors for not even a month. We weren't dating or anything just hooking up. I ended up getting pretty emotionally attached. Then he ended up dating some other girl and it was like a slap in the face. This was before NYE. Since then I haven't really been with any other guys because I'm scared to lose myself. I'm just not sure what to do. I hope if I come across a guy that actually wants something genuine with me that I won't be afraid. Any advice?
Most Helpful Girl
Trust me when I tell you that I know exactly how you feel. I've gotten involved with a guy or two just looking for a mutually satisfying arrangement, but I end up liking the guy. I blame it on the oxytocin, and the fact that sex without intimacy is kind of boring for me so even when I didn't think the guy would make good boyfriend material, I'd FIND reasons to like him without realizing it. It was after some retrospective analyzing that I discovered this tendency of mine.
So I stopped casually seeing guys after that. If you know that you form attachments, I would suggest the same. Date, take your time with a guy, but don't get sexually involved until his intentions have been made clear. Don't be afraid to be clear with guys, because no one is going to look out for your wellbeing like you will. Be straight up and say "I don't date casually, I don't do NSA, FWB, none of that." If a guy is looking for just a good time, he'll likely move on so as to not waste his time. If a guy is looking for a relationship, he'll respect that about you.
But no matter what happens, try to stay aware. Of your own feelings, of the guy's behavior, of the things you learned from an experience. It might keep you from getting into something that probably isn't the best situation for you. Try not to be afraid to care. Just try to be more discerning about who you're getting involved with. Good luck!0