Girl has interest then vanishes?

So I'll try to sum it up.

Saw girl in class, liked her and on vday got her a card. Didn't have the guts to give it to her. Let it go and went on with my weekend. Was on a dating site and realized she was on it.

So messaged her and we talked, Told her about the vday card and how I didn't get it to her For our messages she only would message me every day once. Then after 3 days the msgs stopped. She then messaged me the day before our class. I went to class.. chickened out and didn't sit next to her.

Felt stupid, because it probably meant I was ignoring her or something. Then at the break we talked, but mostly about school and work. I wanted to sit next to her then, but didn't.

Then the class ended and she left without saying bye. I still didn't get her the vday card, which I decided I would give her "better late than never".

So then I finally sent a message a day after class about hanging out or getting her contact info to talk. And how she didn't say bye before she left as a joke.

Anyway so far no message from her. I don't know if she will message me before class again or not. I kinda feel like I blew it or that she was never interested?

I noticed in class in our group meeting she never made eye contact with me anymore. Almost like she avoided eye contact unless I was speaking. And when we talked she seemed to be more interested in writing stuff down.

Next class this week do I finally go sit next to her and talk? Maybe her perception of me will change if I make a effort to talk? My plan was last week to sit next to her.. but boy did I chicken out. And this time I know I wouldn't... but I have no idea if she even likes me.

I kinda would feel stupid sitting next to her if she has no interest in me anymore. Unless I can build that interest in her. I'm wondering if she found someone else on the dating website?

So I have no idea what to do now.. sit next to her in class now?

The other thing I want to add is why hasn't she blocked me on the dating website, that is if she has lost interest?
The only weird part is since our last class she has no been on the dating website. I wonder if it's because she is mad at me or because she has found someone else? Therefore she would be spending more time with someone else?
So not much to say. I was in class early sat to the seat next to her normal spot. Saw her come in and I don't know if she was not expecting me to sit there. But she sat next to me. I said hi and talked about her week. She kinda talked for a bit and then stopped. She never asked me how my week was or anything.

So I assumed if she isn't interested about my week, then it probably means she just doesn't want to talk. So after I just didn't say much anymore and she kept reading her paper.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, it does seem like she's losing interest in you - and rather quickly too. But that's simply because you've made no real effort in trying to really get to know her face to face. Many girls like shy guys, yes, but not when they're too shy for their own good and when it stops them from making actual social progress. I'd say give it another shot, though. Go sit next to her, talk to her. Act like you've changed in a day (as in you've gotten rid of your shyness a bit, not gotten rid of your entire personality). Maybe it'll spark some interest in her. Maybe it won't. Just try, because otherwise you won't find out, and you'll regret that you didn't.

    The reason why she hasn't blocked you is probably because it would be mean of her. Just because she might not be interested, it doesn't give her a reason to block you. I wouldn't worry too much about that to be honest.

    • I should add.. should I give her the vday card still that I have sitting in my bag for like 2 weeks now? I don't have it in me to toss away. I thought I'd give it to her and she can do w.e she wants with it?

    • Show All
    • good luck!

    • And in our group she avoided eye contact it's almost like if she had to look my way she would just stare down. I don't know what's going on with her at all. But she seemed to totally ignore almost all eye contact. Or she would stare down at her paper. So I have no idea what's going on or if she is mad or is avoiding me. I wish she would just tell me. But I guess I have no choice but to move on. She doesn't want to give me a chance to know me.

      Not much I can do there if she's not interested.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Okay. She probably thought that it was really nice for you to tell her how much you like her. But I think you told her too much about how you felt about her.

    Give her space. Don't acknowledge her. Don't wait for her. She knows you're interested, so give her space. If she's not willing to invest any more in you, you have move on and take it with a grain of salt. There's going to be tons of more girls that you're going to like. Maybe you don't see it now, maybe you thought that you had a connection with her. I've been dating over 10 years. trust me.

    You will find someone else. In the meantime, do things that make you happy and invest in yourself first! Be strong and do something good for yourself. You'll be glad you did.

  • Your actions (not giving the card, not sitting next to her, etc.) gave her the impression that you don't like her or are embarrassed to be seen with her. I don't blame her, honestly.

  • This is happening with me. The boy I like will message me over text, twitter, etc. but he won't talk to me during school. I'm so fed up with it, I just want to be done. That's probably what is going on in her head, too. You need to step up your game if you really like her!

    • Yeah I think next class no matter what happens even if it kills me.. I'm gonna sit next to her and talk and try to show her I'm the same person I am on text/chat in person as well.. I mean why wouldn't I be lol? After all it's me.. I just gotta be brave. I hope your guy talks soon but to make it easier maybe you should put him in a spot where he has to talk to you. Maybe he's scared of messing up and the pressure is a lot for him.

What Guys Said 2

  • I feel bad for you. when I was reading your question I could feel that you like this girl a lot and want it to work. Its hard to tell if she was just being polite or if she liked you and then lost interest. If she is still on a dating site it means she is still single. Forget the Vday card. Hide

    it in your cudboard. never mention it to her agin. Sit next to her but be confident. Don't make her think that you are in love with her or have any feelings for her it will send her running. Just focus on keeping things fun and simple. make her laugh. Don't ask her why she never say goodbye to you the other day. Avoid talking about yourself. Try talk about recent events. If you can entertain her and make her laugh and feel good. She will start to grow feelings for you.( No Complementing her either!) (You can tease her tho. But tread lightly in that department.)

    All the best and hope this helps

  • Sorry to say, but you blew it. It wasn't that she was never interested, it is that she lost interest pretty quickly when she realized you were more chicken than man.