How to proceed in dating rut?

I'm going to keep this brief. Dated this girl for about a month. Things moved pretty fast and we quickly got physical. I had a one month work trip abroad in Europe looming, though. We had a talk before this about where we going. We both really opened up to each other and said we really liked each other. Not to jump into commitment too soon, though we both agreed to have fun during this time away and continue once I got back.

I kept in sporadic contact with her when I could mainly because it was impractical to do so on my end with a rather unpredictable schedule.

Once I got back, we went on a few dates and then she asked for a break, which I gave her. Asking for more clarity later on, she said she saw someone over break but broke it off with the person before I got back. Some friend of his saw us during one our dates after I got back and bitched her out, which got her confused which led to the break. One of her close friends then stopped talking to her because she was upset that she didn't tell me initially the reason for going on the break. They haven't spoken in weeks. She says she's confused about what to do and just wanted to be friends for now.

I don't want to be nor care to be friends with her. I told her that I can't be friends, but that once she figures things out, to contact me.

It seems like too many people got involved and it overwhelmed her.

What I'm asking now then is is there anything I can do to tip the scales in my favor? I've been no contact for a couple weeks now to give her space. I want to continue dating her and maybe move into a relationship, but I'm not sure of that at this point.

I'm willing to wait around a bit for her, but at the same time I'm not limiting myself from meeting others, either if anyone's concerned. I will say I am still a little bit emotionally attached.

I may sound a little harsh, but I've been incredibly nice and accommodating to her this entire time, but not a pushover. I know this because many of her friends have complimented me on this.

Thoughts and opinions on what I can or should do to help my situation?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Let her know that you really want to still date her. She should decide for herself whether she is interested at this point. If she is not ready than don't sit there waiting around for her. Move on! Tell her to not feel embarrassing when she is ready, but she should keep it in mind that you are not waiting and twiddling your thumbs.


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