Ex is talking to me, but I feel like he is obligated to since I initiated communication

Well a guy and I dated for a very short amount of time, but we got to know each other really well and our personalities just meshed well too, even though we basically met when we first started dating/hanging out. It was toward the end of the school year so I knew it was not going to last long. He did not want any commitment over the summer, but we still talked the same way, so I told him I couldn't talk to him over the summer because I couldn't be just friends with him and talk flirtatiously. It only took him a month to miss me and we talked, but I met someone else over the summer whom I ended up dating. My ex and I gradually starting talking less and less and then in the fall, we did not talk all semester.

Last night, I was at a country concert (we both love country music), and I texted him asking if he went. We had a good text conversation that night during the concert. I had an all-access pass and I was able to meet the artists and be backstage. It seemed like he did not want to stop talking to me. There was a lot of teasing sarcasm in the conversation altogether and we texted until around 2 am when he fell asleep. When he did not want to talk to me (basically all semester), he did not send long texts or anything.

2 days later, he initiated the conversation, but I was with friends so I felt bad I could not talk to him as much as I wanted to. I was surprised that I got a text from him though but our conversations are pretty much the same as when we did date.

We have had multiple conversations that last for hours via text so probably about 100+ texts in each one. The details of the text would take up too much room for you guys to read, but last night he came to my place because I had baked something. We brought up nostalgia sort of and we decided to have a playful wrestling match. When it happened, we definitely got close and he was on top of me more but still. Nothing happened but we talked and caught up since we did not talk for so long. He even texted me when he got back to his place until he fell asleep and even texted me this morning.

I was really curious to know why he is all of a sudden wanting to talk to me like this all of a sudden, but when I asked him, he said “cause you started talking to me. That’s all. I try to respond when people talk to me”, so now after all this, I feel like he is obligated to talk to me. I mean I am not sure if he is just bored with himself (doubt it because he has A LOT of friends) or if he just feels sorry for me. His texts are long and it’s the same way when we were dating.

I mean I am not sure if this is a joke or a charity case for him, but he treated me with disrespect before (like no communication at all after we broke up) and now he is like this again. Let me know what you guys think! :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's possible he could still have feelings for you. I mean, you did say you two worked well together. I'm kind of going through something similar with a guy I used to talk to. I initiated contact and he's now contacting me. I'd say just keep doing as you are and see what happens. Don't necessarily worry about whether or not he feels like he has to talk to you. Obviously he likes being around you in some way, whether romantic or not. Otherwise, he wouldn't be initiating contact and hanging out with you.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Guys are pretty good at being blunt.

    Most girls would keep stringing guys they're not even interested in just for attention. Guys? They cut contact.

    So my opinion is that he at least wants you in his life.

    • i haven't heard from him since like last Tuesday so I just wondering if you think he is playing me or just picking and choosing when he wants to contact me?

    • Show All
    • he contacted me last night and just had small talk. Our convo only lasted like 4-5 texts total. I do not want to be played like this anymore.

    • Stop playing then

What Girls Said 2

  • If he wasn't interested in talking to you, he would simply blow you off.

  • maybe he still likes you