What's she trying to tell me?

There's this girl that I met on a special interest social networking site who goes to school near me. We've started to hit things off and, we've been texting and messaging each other on Facebook on a frequent basis.

At one point, she wanted me to lay low from talking with her a lot because she had gotten interested in dating a guy on the other side of the country. It was not that she thought I was interested, but because this guy was getting pathologically paranoid about her talking to other guys. Shortly after that, she told me that he'd been acting up again about it and blew him off, including him attempting to make her jealous.

Just a few days later, things seemed essentially back to normal. She told me that they had a talk and had settled the score. At one point, she told me about a dream she had the other night that she and I were dating. Apparently, she said that we did a lot that she couldn't remember but that it concluded with his making out on a beach at nighttime. She also came off as really self-conscious when she learned that I was shorter than she was.

Anyway, when we were just talking the other day to figure out our plans to meet in person a few weeks from now, she said that she had talked with him and unfriended her on Facebook, deleted his account on another site, but agreed that they'd still be together and that he would come visit this coming summer. She asked me if I was OK with just being friends without expectations (I was, and told her accordingly) and proceeded to chat casually like before. Is she being honest that she wants to be platonic with me and is really drawn to this guy, or is she trying to imply she's emotionally attracted to me and is using him to make me jealous?


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  • This girl is complicated...

    I honestly can't give you an answer that I'm confident with. In my experience though, most girls wouldn't ask if guys are okay with a platonic friendship unless that's what they really want themselves. It's too risky and may ruin a potential relationship.

    On the other hand, she could be testing you to see if you are interested in a relationship or not. Saying "Yes" to her question = "He's not into me" while saying "No" = "Okay, he does like me!"

    Either way, she's just too complicated to figure out.