He says he doesn't want a relationship right now

This is kind of a long story so brace yourself.

I met a guy in one of my classes this year and we've become pretty good friends. I started developing a crush on him and he found out about a month and a half ago. We went on a trip with friends about a month ago and we stayed at his family condo. One of the first nights we were short beds so he offered to share the couch with me, even though there was an empty one right next to it that I was going to take. We didn't cuddle or anything but we stayed up talking for a while. The next day I told him about my feelings for him, and he told me he had feelings for me as well. That night he kissed me and we ended up making out (intense but no sex) and once again shared a bed, but we cuddled this time. The same thing happened on the last night.

We came back and didn't know how to talk about what happened, or if we were a thing or not. He told my best friend that he thought we both wanted something different. I didn't know how to take it but in my mind I didn't think we should jump into a relationship right off the bat - I wanted to hang out more and see where things went. We didn't talk about it but the following weekend hanging out with friends, though drunk, we made out again. We shared a cab home and he kissed me goodnight. Another week went by, we talked more, but still didn't talk about what was going on between us. This past weekend we went out with a group we are in, nothing happened, but he did suggest that we talk and asked if I wanted to go for coffee this week, and that he'd text me. Nothing happened at the bar, but we spent an hour walking up and down trying to hail a cab, and we talked, and he said things like "he's more of a relationship guy than a hookup guy" and when we finally got a cab and got to my place, he got out and kissed me goodnight (which completely caught me off guard since nothing else happened that night).

This week went by and he never texted me about coffee, though he did text me most days and one night when I tried to say goodnight he kept the conversation going.

Today he had coffee with my best friend again (as she was dating his best friend and having issues) and he brought up to her that he thought I was really great, I guess he said he does like me and have feelings for me, but he doesn't think he should be in a relationship right now.

Again, I'm not asking him for a marriage proposal, and I don't want to push him into a relationship right away, especially since we are in the last leg of the school year and both very busy and stressed out, . I want to keep things going and perhaps when the stress load comes off, see if we want to move it forward. I need to talk to him and get everything out on the table, but should I assume he probably wants the same thing, or is this never going to happen? I'm not prepared to wait around forever for him to make up his mind, but I still like him and spending time with him, and I want to assume he feels the same way


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What Guys Said 1

  • He must have the same reasoning as you do, that you're on the last leg of your school year.

    Simply spend a lot of your time with him, and talk to him a lot. That way, he will never miss you, and if he got over his problems, he'll ask to be together with you.


What Girls Said 1

  • I've been in a similar situation and this waiting pretty much sucks. Try to keep yourself busy and and in the same time try to talk to him and be with him as much as possible. You will spend time together and you'll realize how strong your bond is. I'd personally wait for the guy to make the "first move" into a relationship. Hopefully he'll realize what he wants soon (being with you) and pursues this. Good luck

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