Is he interested? Am I just a friend? Distant 'cause he is hung up on his ex? I can't understand his behavior!

There is this guy. We were friends in high school, lost contact for a few years, but recently got in touch again over Facebook. I had a major crush on him in high school (and pretty sure he liked me back then, too), and since talking to him again, it has come back stronger than before.

When we got back in contact, we talked for a few hours over Facebook chat and he gave me his number, telling me to text him anytime! I did and for a number of days, we texted pretty non-stop (sometimes an hour or so between replies, but it was consistent) until 3am.

Since we got back in touch, we've hung out a couple of times. The first time was with him and his two friends until 4am where we just sat around, and played video games. The most recent time was just the two of us, we drove around the city for an hour then went back to his house where we talked and had a movie marathon (three films) until 3am; when I got home we texted until 4am. We've also made plans to hang out for a full day next week just us.

To me it all seems really positive that he might at least have a marginal interest in me, but there are a few circumstances which make me second guess how good things look. For one, he only ever initiated texting a couple of times. Vast majority of the time, I start the conversation. When I do, we end up texting for hours and hours (like I said, usually until 3am). His replies never seem disinterested/annoyed and he uses smileys. Sometimes, though, he doesn't reply. We'll text for hours and if I send a reply that could easily be replied to, but isn't necessarily a conversation forcer, it just stops. I don't want to seem clingy so I wait. The longest I waited was 3 days, then I couldn't help caving in. I texted. Again, we texted until 3am and he seemed happy to do it. It would last a while, but die down again and he'd not text first.

In more real life situations, things are great. We talk a lot; he initiates topics. Sometimes he plays guitar for me (he sends recordings when we're texting). It was even his insistence for the movie marathon. We were just going to watch one. When it was over, he asked if I wanted to watch another. After that, he suggested another! And our next hang out plans were even his idea. But when we were watching movies, he didn't exactly sit close. Same couch, but a bit away and didn't seem too interested in trying to sit close; he was definitely comfy, though as he was laying down and giving me enough room to lay down, too (it is a long couch). I don't ever pick up signs of flirting.

Moreover, I know he is still having issues with his ex. His room mate is her brother so she is always around. She cheated, but still plays mind games with him. He says it pisses him off; I don't know if he'd go back to her if he could, but it has been a year since they broke up. He hasn't dated another girl since.

What should I take from all this? Should I overlook the lack if initiating texts? Does he see me as just a friend? Is it because of his ex?

Oh, and I just realized that some people may say he gets annoyed with me texting him until 3am... Well, I just want to add that, as we text, it will be 1am or even 2am and he'll send me something like, "I have to be up at 8am, but I'm not tired yet :(." So we essentially continue texting until either he or I fall asleep. Usually he goes first and the next day says, "Lol, sorry for passing out on you :P" and in those circumstances, we usually text for a while. Otherwise, he doesn't text first.
Really? No one else willing to answer? I'd really appreciate opinions from a few more people... :(


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What Guys Said 1

  • He really is interested in you.

    By the way he acts when you two are together, and how he really loves watching movie with you, it's clear that he really likes you more than a friend.


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