Which road to choose when a boy breaks up with a girl?

My boyfriend broke up with me last tuesday (041419). We even went out that very same day and everything seemed like normal. I didn't notice something was wrong, or that it would be our last day as a couple. That night before we went to sleep, he told me that he wants to be free. He said he want to enjoy his life, and that I should as well. I asked him why but all he said was that he needed time.

After two days of trying to get him to talk to me, since I have a lot of unanswered questions, I received a message from him saying that he's very confused because there's two of us now in his heart. He's loving another girl, while were together. And it kills me to know that he had chosen her, over me - his girlfriend of 3 years.

I don't know what to do, and I don't want to let him go. I don't want him to end up getting hurt by this girl because he said he's not sure if they would be happy. I told him everything to make him stay, but he chose her.

Now I just don't know what to do. Should I push myself to him, and try to get him back? Or should I let him be with her, even though it's breaking my heart. I don't want to let him go, because I don't want to have regrets.

My friends told me that I should just forget about him, but I can't. It's hard for me to wake up every morning, knowing that he's already enjoying his life with someone else. He said he still love me, but he wanted to try working it out with her.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Let's consider this from a best/worst case scenario:

    Worst Case - He was already seeing this other girl while you two were together. He probably slept with her too and was only willing to break up with you after he was certain his new relationship with her would work. Girls tend to do this to guys more often than the other way around.

    Best Case - The spark of the relationship was gone. You probably noticed a decline/staleness of your sex life (if you engaged in one). He broke up with you because the advantages (companionship, support, etc.) no longer outweighed the disadvantages (clinginess, lack of freedom, etc.). He was left emotionally vulnerable and met this other girl right after. Their feelings quickly escalated for each other, but because it was so fast and he now "loves" her after 3 days, this sort of extremely rapid increase in feelings cannot be sustained. The fling between them will probably be short-lived.

    The true case is probably somewhere in between. Figure out what it is before thinking about what to do.

    • Thank you, I get it. I know I lacked something, which made him seek for another's love.

    • It also means that he was unwilling or unable to produce that "chemistry" and chose an easier option (start fresh).

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I see... My friend, you have hit the brick wall of love!

    And the most loving thing to do is to let him go.

    It hurts, I know, I've been there.

    But you will be much happier in the long run if you let him be.

    Everything will work out in the end :D

    • That's what everyone say. I hope I can do that. It's really hard for me to just forget about him. I still worry about him every now and then.

    • The main thing is that when it comes to relationships, there's a little 'spark', and then when the feeling is gone, it's up to love to sustain any relationship. If love truly is there, then don't give up. But if you think it was just the 'spark' that existed and died out, it's totally up to you what you decide.

      Good luck!!

What Girls Said 3

  • I just go out of a almost 4 year relationship myself. I was actually the one to break it off. I wanted to do it for sometime, but kept giving him chances. It sounds like he tried to let you down easy. I'm sorry to say that he want a life with this other girl. You will always have a part in his heart but he has given her the majority of it plus his soul. If he got another girl just a couple days after breaking up and he loves her he had been planning on calling it quits with you for a while. Your best bet is to let it go. You can let go and not have regrets. You had a good relationship. It just wasn't meant to be forever. You learned and lived through it. You shouldn't want to be with someone who can choose someone else over yourself. It will be hard at first but its always darkest before the dawn. So keep you chin up. Your tears where no one can see and strut your stuff.

    • I kept on giving him chances too. I didn't know the actual break up would hurt badly. It was my first, but I'm glad to know that there are a lot of people who were able to live through after cases like this.

  • I have been in this situation before, my ex left me for someone else. He chose to be with her but 'kept me close' so then if their relationship didn't work out (which it didn't) I would still be there waiting. Your ex is telling you all these things to keep you around so if this other girl breaks up with him he can still come back to you. In doing this, he has just shown he dosen't have much respect for you and you should be happy that someone like that is out of your life. Its tough to let go, but it really is for the best.

    Next time you talk to him, tell him you need space to move on and then cut off contact. It will help you to move on. Try not seeing him, calling him, texting or messaging him for at least one month. During that time, just focus on yourself and do things you really enjoy.

    • I don't know if I can try not contacting him though. He had always been by my side, and it's really hard to accept that he's gone.

    • Show All
    • I would lay low, I thought getting my questions answered would help me move on, but it only lead to me wanting to ask more questions.

    • You're right.. When I thought I had asked him everything, I would end up having more questions the next day.. But thank you really...

  • Your friend is right let him go.Like I tell a of people who ask me .Don't chase him that means{its going to be hard}But don't call him no txt nothing make him miss you .When he told you that he still loves you maybe he still feels that way like he can't make up his mind who to love .Trust me girl let him go.

    • The sad thing is, I don't think he misses me anymore.