Why is this guy so fragile?

I'm really confused at the moment with this guy I've been kind of pursuing. I really like him as a friend and he's really hot, and I wanted to take things further with him so I asked him on a date and he said yeah and seemed cool with it, and when we went for the date and it was fine till we got back to mine and he seized up and started getting nervous. I've noticed in the past whenever I try to talk seriously to him he's good at listening but he goes very quiet, and I asked him if he had anything he wanted to talk about and he said no and changed the subject, he's not good at talking about his feelings. I sat with him on the sofa and after a while we started making out (I know, kind of heavy for first date but we're teenagers and it seemed more like a hook up at this point) I didn't really feel him fully committing to it and I lay forward on top of him and I could feel his heartbeat which I thought was kind of cute, I touched the top of his leg on the inside and he got a fright, like a big fright, I stopped kissing him and looked at him but he quickly went back to kissing me so I got over it and carried on, but then when I moved my hand under his jeans he got a fright again an sat up, so I took my hand away, he looked white, I hadn't noticed it when we were so close up, I feel really awful, did I hurt him or something? Why was he so fragile? I'm really worried about it I didn't mean to upset him, he stayed a little longer but he looked very uncomfortable...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Could be anything really. He might have deep issues stemming from a bad upbringing. Or maybe he simply ejaculated in his pants and was mortified.

    It's also possible he has a small penis, or thinks he does. This is a huge deal for us guys, and I think we have such a hard time getting over it because it's hardcoded into us. Maybe it goes back to the caveman days where a guy either succeeded at the hunt or his family starved (it's not just about size, it's tied to deeper adequacy issues - terror that despite giving our best, we aren't good enough for a girl). All I know is I'm well hung and emotionally somewhat decently adjusted, and even I have had adequacy nightmares where women laugh at and mock me as they choose much more well-hung guys to sleep with over me.

    • Well if I felt accurately it's not size ;)

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What Guys Said 2

  • It must be that he's still not ready in pursuing things further.

    Give it time. He'll soon be the one putting his hands in your jeans.

    • do you really think so? I've been with other guys who didn't want to take it further, they just said, why's he so quiet about it?

  • Honestly? Reading this I think he might have wanted a serious relationship, and was afraid it might end up as just a one night stand. Try taking it more slowly.


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