So frustrated with my boyfriend. How should I respond?

I recently found out that my boyfriend left his house again. He has issues with his parents and sometimes he leaves his house. I wasn't upset about that part. What did make me upset is the fact I kind of feel like he lied to me. Friday morning he came over to hang out with me. He told me he had to leave around 1:30pm to I've his sister her car back that he borrowed. She kept calling him because she needed it. Around 1:30pm on Friday he left my house. His sister sent me a message around 10:00pm asking if I saw him because he never came to return her car. She said he has been gone since the day before (Thursday) I guess he didn't go home Friday like he told me he would. I don't know what made him leave his house but I feel like he kind of lied in a way because I texted him and ask what he was up to and if he made it home and he said yea he did and he wasn't just relaxing. I don't understand why he can't just tell me that he was having issues at his house again and that he left his house for a couple days. I guess he doesn't like talking about it but I still don't see why he would not tell me about his family/ home issues. I texted him again on Friday night asking him if he was OK because of what his sister told me and I told him that I was upset because I felt like he lied to me about where he was going on Friday. Friday and Saturday I called him and texted him trying to see if he was OK and I tried telling him I'm upset and I wanna talk about it. It is Sunday night now and he has not replied or called me back. Its starting to make me even more angry because now I feel like he's ignoring me. I went onto Facebook today (Sunday) and I saw he was online but he didn't I'm me and neither did I. All day today(Sunday) I Haven't called him or texted him because he hasn't replied. I feel like I called and texted him enough. I feel frustrated because I care and I hope he's OK and I hope things with his parents and him are fine but at the same time I don't think its right to basically ignore someone. When I talk to him again should I even bring Facebook up and ask him who he was talking to on there? Or should I stick to how he hasn't called etc? And am I over reacting over the whole situation? Do you think he just needs time alone due to what ever happened at his house? And if so shouldn't he have still communicated that to me instead of going 2 days with out speaking to me? I know things come up but it only takes a few min to send a text or call someone to say your OK or to tell them what happened and how your feeling or what you need. Time alone etc.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It really helps if you don't have run-on sentences and you make some paragraphs. Then more people will be likely to answer your question. Just saying.

    Guys need some alone time sometimes. It doesn't help if you keep on trying to talk to him about it, because guys just want to deal with their problems themselves, and often are not good at talking about it. Sometimes they feel like they are weak if they talk to other people about their problems. This is something that you may have to live with.

    Don't worry about the phone calls, etc. Just because it takes a few minutes does not mean that he wants to talk to anyone, even you, about his problems. He needs time to relax and unwind. Don't worry about him not returning phone calls or texts. Don't feel lied to, just let it go.


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What Guys Said 2

  • It seems that he just have forgotten to bring his cellphone with him.

    Also, as her girlfriend, you really can't force him to tell you about his family/home issues. It's for his, and his privacy.

  • Just because he's your boyfriend, that doesn't give you access to every part of his life.

    • So don't call him or text him? Let him come to me? Its going on 3 days now and he hasn't called me or text me. I think its rude and inconsiderate. I'm sure if I did the same to him he'll be upset.

    • And I'm sure he wouldn't.

      To a guy, 3 days is nothing. To a girl, it's like a confirmation that the relationship is over.

      Guys and girls perceive time in different ways.

      They also react to anger in different ways. You have a powerful urge to want to talk about your problems. And you act as though he should just feel the same way.

      But he doesn't. He has a powerful urge NOT to talk about his problems, and to solve them himself.

      Let your guy be a guy.

What Girls Said 1

  • Omg. It sounds like he is just obviously not having things go well at home and is too upset by whatever's going on to spill his guts to you. He just doesn't want to talk about it. That's totally fine. Yes maybe it's immature that he's ignoring you. But he probably knew you'd keep talking about it and bringing it up if he told you about whatever issue he's having in the first place, and he just wanted some space so he didn't want to tell you. Yes he should have just said "I really need some time to myself, I'll call you when I feel better" or something, but maybe he thought that wouldn't have even worked.

    When I'm upset I like just being by myself and having my own peace and quiet, but my boyfriend is totally opposite. He likes talking about every little thing that's bothering me and will make me sit there and explain it all, like he doesn't understand the need for alone time.Sometimes I just want to zone out and distance myself from him when he's pressuring me to tell him my issues because I'm just not the kind of person who likes doing that. It sounds like your boyfriend is like me and would rather just come to you when he feels better.

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