Dating an older, single dad... HELP!

I am currently dating a 35 year old single dad with a young daughter. His child is not the issue, she absolutely LOVES me. To the point where she's literally cried because I have to go back home for the week. We only get to see each other every other weekend. So that's my small amount of back story...

I know most of what's bothering me is stuff that I have brought upon myself through snooping through his phone. The problem I'm having is that the child's mother whom I have no problem with my boyfriend being amicable with... Has been definitely crossing the line. I have seen texts where she calls him 'hunny', complains about period cramps, etc. VERY UNCOMFORTABLE! Most recently I found a text from him to her telling her to send him a close up of her shoes again... He loves feet and legs... But WHAT THE!?!?!?!?! Not ok! This is beginning to make me extremely uncomfortable.

What I don't understand is that it would be so easy for him and I to just not see each other anymore because we are already so far apart and hardly see each other to begin with, so what is his deal!? HELP! If he wants her why is he with me still!?


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What Guys Said 2

  • The answer to your first question is he shouldn't want her or anything to do with her. The mystery is why does he yet still behave like this? Your relationship is already in the red zone since you discovered this. And it doesn't help that you went snooping either. Don't bother letting him explain why he is cheating on you. Just decide for now whether you forgive him or not. I hope this helps because this must be a difficult time for you right now!

    • Well I disagree with the not wanting anything to do with her. They share a child. Being amicable is much easier on everyone, ESPECIALLY the child when they parties get along. I know snooping was wrong, I'm still unsure of why I did, but I did and I can't take it back. Guess I will be contemplating. Thank you for your unbiased opinion, exactly the type of thing I'm looking for.

  • It doesn't sound like he wants her. Sounds more like she wants him. Anyone with and ex can have that kind of baggage. Unfortunately if they have a child together, he has to play nice with her and try to get along for the sake of his child. That is just the baggage that he comes with.

    Are you sure that you are not just looking for an excuse to end this relationship? You didn't give any examples of HIM crossing the line. Just the ex crossing the line. However your complaint was about him. So it sounds like you might be looking for a reason to break it off with him.

    • I don't really think he does want her. She cheated on him and had a baby with another guy, whom she is no longer with and rarely even sees the baby. But she's crossing the line, her and I are friendly, I don't let her know that her behavior towards my boyfriend is bothering me because I think she sort of wants it to. I'm running out of ways to ignore it though...

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