I don't know what he wants from me... I seriously need some guidance

Male friend texted me about a girl blowing him off after casually seeing her for a few months. Out of this conversation it came out I had be interested in him, and his response was basically "I'm really not in a good place for relationships right now. I'm just done with them."

So that was that, subject dropped. Fast forward to now (it happened ~2 months ago) we've remained in constant contact with him texting me almost everyday of the week, sharing things (interests/school talk/planning classes together/recommending things to each other/making obscure and tentative plans for get togethers, but still saying we should do things at some point). He's shared more about the situation with the girl that blew him off saying things like "wanting to meet someone who treats him right" and such while I've been there for him "listening and not complaining" (his words) He's let me know about his previously failed relationships never managing to have a girl stick around (cheating on him and such).

So I get he's a little gun shy about things now... but I'm just wondering, is it normal for guys to texts girls this often if there isn't anything there? We haven't know each other that long (not even a full year), I've never met his other friends, though I know he has a solid social group as he talks about them a lot, almost always doing things with them and through Facebook interactions. So why is he coming to me for this stuff? Especially since he knows I held some level of interest in him. Through our talks he has also brought up on multiple occasions how he is attracted to a professor of his... normally I would take that as a "Totally not into you!" kinda thing but this guy is just so hard to read.

Is he using me for emotional support?Why would he even randomly text me about this girl in the first place if we aren't even that close? (and he texted me just to tell me about her, it wasn't a natural progression to it, he contacted me to talk) Is he sticking around for an ego boost? (However, he never takes liberties with me such as asking for favors all the time or trying to manipulate me into anything) I just can't wrap my head around someone who communicates this much with someone (even if just through text) if something else wasn't going on. I don't even text my best friend this much. (It isn't all day texting we do though, just almost at least one short convo a day, though it can be long convos)

Also, because I put it out there that I had wanted to ask him out I'm scared if I bring the topic of 'what is going on' up he will be freaked out or think I'm pushy and can't take a hint. Is it at all possible for a guy to be so burned from past experiences to be taking things this tentatively? Do you think he wants a friends first kinda thing to be sure?

Seriously, what the hell am I doing?


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What Girls Said 1

  • You're his emotional toilet paper for him to wipe his *** on, and he's fishing to see if you'll be his next Casual sex prospect.

    HE already told you he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you and he hasn't brought the subject up again.

    So at this point you can do a few things for closure.

    1. Throw all your cards on teh table, let him know how you feel. Tell him you want a relationship or nothing at all.

    2. Tell him, you are only friends, and you aren't comfortable with him sharing such intimate details with you. Accept that he doesn't want you romantically and Lay down some boundaries, STOP BEING SO EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE.

    3. Accept what you have and accept your relationship for what it is.

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