Was I just his back-up girl ?

I met a guy online and dated him for a month. I hid my profile but noticed he kept his active, and I didn't discuss the subject to not be the "control-freak girl" (probably my mistake).

Because of that, I was uncomfortable with him, always suspicious... so nothing happened between us on a month of dating.

At our last date I'd forgotton about it and was much more comfortable with him. Even if we didn't kiss, we were closer and had great fun.Then, I didn't hear from him for two weeks. Tired of waiting, I texted him to ask him out Saturday night. He answered he'll be busy but was free Saturday afternoon. I said that I already had plans Saturday afternoon .

Few days later he contacted me to know how I was going. At the end of the conversation I was surprised that he didn't ask me out so I said "ok let's lay our cards on the table". He said that because of my behavior he thought that I just wanted to be friends and that I was no longer interested by a relationship. He added that he never met a girl like me before, and that he felt like I was too good for him (different social classes) .

The next day he texted me "why did you wait until now ?"... So I understood that he was already dating someone else. I checked his Facebook profile and noticed that he added a new "friend" who liked almost all his pics. When I "googled" her I found out that she was on the same online dating site.

After that, I expected that he was going to mention her or at least say "let's be friends". Three days later he contacted me to ask how I was going. Then one week later he texted me again for the same reason. So I asked him straight out "why do you keep in touch with me ?". He said that there was no reason to lose contact because he likes me and was pretty sure that I Iiked him too. I answered that I didn't want to be a plaything and even less a back up girl. Also, I explained to him that I was distant when we were dating because I knew he was still active on the website... that's why I was uncomfortable. At the end of my message I wished him good luck. He answered hours later that I was wrong about his motivations and wished me good luck too with a ";)" .

I deleted him from Facebook and deleted his phone number too.

Was I just his back-up girl ? Or was it all my fault ?

P.S : sorry for my poor English, I'm French.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Back up girls sound right to me

    • Thanks for your answer and thanks god he string along for ten days not months.

What Girls Said 1

  • I met a guy from online dating site and after two days of dating he asked me to delete my ac . He said if I don't delete my ac it means that I'm not really serious about the relationship . We both deleted our ac . So I guess the man you dated was not really into you or not serious about relationship . it was not your fault. Good that you get rid of him.

    • I thought he was serious because at our first date he asked me if I was talking to other people on the website. When I said no he said him either. Also he was asking me a lot about my future plans, that's why I thought he wasn't playing...

      Of course he was playing, even if he was the one who was initiating the contact, he always texted me back after two or four hours !