Opinions on this behavior

Sunday comes, we meet, she looks gorgeous. We arrange to meet at a bar very local to both of us. We get there, we’re talking, I’m making her laugh, basically it’s going according to plan. Before we know it we’ve been at this bar for 5 hours talking, times flies when you’re having fun eh. Any we leave and I walk her to her car, she says she’s has a lovely time, we kiss. Just as she’s walking off I say I have something for her, run to my car and give her a black back full of small Easter eggs. She loves it, she’s kissing me again (yeah sweet ain’t i).

So she gets home, tells me she’s had a lovely night etc. We’re still talking like crazy at this point, I can tell she’s into me! On Tuesday she brings up our next meeting quite blatantly, “So when’s our second date?” I ask her when she’s free and she says “I’m free tomorrow”. I respond “ great, how about we meet up around 7:30?” ..

I heard nothing back, thought she’s probably dropped asleep because it’s late. I Woke up next day, still nothing, mid day nothing, evening still nothing. I’m generally a bit confused and I do something I NEVER DO….I sent someone a text who has not responded to my last text, this is something I NEVER DO! I’ll happily leave a situation on hold over this. I ask her how her days been , hoping she’d respond and explain what happened to her reply to my last message. She replies “ My days been good thanks, how has yours been?”

I was about to respond but then I took a step back, and analysed the situation. This girl is on a dating website, she’s gorgeous, she’s getting tons of messages. I’m thinking she’s clearly met someone else which is why she went cold on me.

I just deleted her number, didn’t respond and kept it moving. IMO anyone playing games this early on is not worth pursuing at all. Maybe there's a rational answer to her behavior ...and maybe Elvis is living in a airport hangover in area 51 with 2pac

Opps forgot to post the start of this story

So I'm on a dating website, not that I have trouble attracting girls it just my hectic lifestyle is working against me lately. Anyway I catch the intention of this lovely young woman, 29 years old, blond, gorgeous. She sends me what is essentially a poke, I didn’t respond as it’s lazy trade if you can’t be bothered to message someone IMO. About an hour later she messages me, I respond and we’re off talking. Maybe after about 3/4 hours of talking


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ughh too many games in the dating world these days. In result, this experience will effect the all the other experiences you will have in the future. I am seeing a guy now that has had too many experiences like you recentenly did. Now it seems like it is all about who can appear less desperate than the other. Let's face it, we all want and need romance, we all want to find that one person we have a crazy connection with, and I have no problem admitting it. But all these games people play get in the way of people finding and establishing authentic and deep connections. As a female, my opinion is that this girl was interested initially. I would never sit for 5 hours talking with someone that I have no interest in, unless I had nothing better to do. Even so, I would never go along to kiss him especially on the first date if I didn't see myself wanting to see him again. Girls don't initiate texts (unless you REALLY like this person to the point you say f*** it, I don't care if I appear too clingy, I like him) otherwise, girls feel if a guy likes you he will do the chasing. It is like the tango, if he moves she moves. If he moves and girl doesn't move, she is likely not interested. But she texted you first and that means she was thinking about you so I guarantee she likes you. And I can tell you like her too, or else you wouldn't have posted this question on here. That "one to the next one" mentality will only lead to inner lonliness. I wouldn't have deleted her number so fast, you still could have kept her around as a friend with the possibilty that one day you two could give it a shot again. I'm not saying wait around for her, date other girls. But I'm just saying, you never know. But if I were you, I just would have bluntly brought it up again, "hey, I know you mentioned meeting up again, but I never got a response when I followed through. If you are still interested, great. If not we can still be friends." I guarantee she would have responded if she were truly interested or not. Hope it all works out!


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • You're writing her off because she was on a dating site, the same site you were on?

    • Did you even read the question (?_?)

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    • Also the whole over-bearing thing would never play a part so early in the day, we're talking about second date here. I could completely understand if it's 2 months in and she's always the one insinuating a plan. It's been less than 2 weeks lol

    • Over bearing starts day one. No woman wants to be seen as clingy/desperate. She may have regretted asking about a second date because of how it could be perceived. Many guys run a mile from a woman that goes for what she wants as they pass get off as desperate. Maybe she feels she came on too strong and is trying to cool it a little. Who knows

  • Yeah, maybe she found someone better and you should too. I agree with your opinions by the way. :)

    • Nice to know someone shares my sometimes my views, however rough they are at times :)

    • And it's a good thing you're being realistic and open to all sides of it too.

  • What website is that? She was in to you one moment, then all gone the next


What Guys Said 3

  • I would say you might have jumped the gun a bit to fast, but generally speaking I like your style and fully agree with your though process.

    I might have given her one more chance than to simply delete her number after one bad experience like this. However, If I asked her again for a date and got a similar response, then I would delete her number for sure.

    I think you the nail on the head with why this happened and its why I warn many guys about the pitfalls of online dating (I had my stint with it as well). Guys are seriously disadvantaged on dating websites, not just from a numbers standpoint but from a logistical standpoint. Maybe this is how it is real life as well, but online just quantifies it easier. Anyway, online dating has about one girl for every guy (let's call it 40 guys for every 10 girls). Now assume that only about 4 of those girls are above average in attractiveness. I'm also being generous with this number. The truth is, most of the women on online dating aren't exceptionally attractive because those top 20% of women, don't need online dating to get dates. So yes, first of all, it can be argued that given our dating structure, by its very nature, sought after women, will be missing from dating sites, where the same cannot be said as much for men. Back to our math problem. So we now have 40 guys and essentially 4 women who are worth messaging. That means that aprox 10 guys are messaging each girl (most likely more). I've known plenty of girls who admitted to getting over a 100 messages a week. This makes it really tough as a guy to stand out, while giving an insane amount of choice to the women.

    This causes a few things. One, the women get more shallow. You would too if a 100 women were lined up at your doorstep. Two, girls get the "grass might be greener on the other side syndrome" brought upon by the amount of choice they've been given. They simply can't settle down because they're so fearful that one of those other 99 guys might be better, even though what she has is already pretty good. Finally, some women go as far to leverage this situation for their own fun and financial gain. Some women will just keep going on dates for the sake of getting free food from a different person every other day of the week. Some simply like the game of being with a new guy every weekend and the rush of having so many men chase them. It really screws with the psyche of the female because its such an unrealistic scenario brought upon by the technology.

    Point is, your most likely right, she probably liked you, but someone came around that might have appeared better or she feared might be better. She also might not have been able to resist giving a test drive to some of the other guys who were interested in her.

    It is pretty amazing that she would have was seems like the perfect date and think she can actually do better. I think you'll find this article interesting and to the point. link

  • It sounds like she just lost interest. It happens all the time, especially in the early stages. I would recommend the following:

    1) Don't give a girl any gifts so early on. I know it's coming from a good place, but it makes you seem like someone who hasn't been on a date in a long time. You want her to be thinking you're always going on dates with hot women; that's not what she's thinking when you're tripping over yourself to roll out the red carpet for her.

    2) Don't text her in the early stages. Call her instead. Text messages can be lost or forgotten; a phone call is more personal and direct. After you get to know each other better, texting is fine.

    3) You mentioned that sending a text after you already sent a text is something you never do. That's because you know deep down that it's not a good idea. Don't do that again! When the ball is in her court, let it stay there, and don't be afraid to walk away if she doesn't respond. The loss is hers, not yours.

    • Good advice bro, the gift thing was pretty simplistic, it didn't cost a lot and it was more thoughtful than in terms of trying to impress. The text thing though I can't agree with you enough this is not me at all, momentary lapse in my character. The fact that I didn't respond after she text me back was my wake up to myself..as in 'what the hell am I doing'

      Probably right about the phonecall but too but that's all relative, it works for some and doesn't for others but on a whole I agree :)

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    • Or as my friends say, "nothing counts until she's touched your d***". Sad but true.

      I also agree with your bullets but I always find it funny. Especially number 1. I know that's how girls think but yet it seems so counter intuitive. Why would you want to date someone who is already dating a bunch of other people? I know for most guys that's a turn off but for women its not. Then again, women never were consider the logical gender.

    • But if you really are dating a bunch of women I don't want you anyway. You just have to act that way lol now that you are totally confused...

  • OK, so you went on a date, she stopped talking, and you kicked her to the curb. Sounds fine to me. Done it a dozen times. Girls are notoriously bad at "letting guys down easy". They forget the whole "letting us down" part by acting like they had a great time and want to continue. If she really wanted to see you again, she'd say so. She didn't. Sounds like a bust, pick up and move on.

    • I here what you are saying but read the question again. Technically she asked him for the second date.