Is there a hidden agenda behind her actions she won't admit? Please help!

This girl and I dated for just over a month. First time we went out, she said she didn't wasn't looking for a relationship and that her last one ended really badly (she was really depressed). Despite this, we got to know one another and liked each other at one point. We grew affectionate with one another (linking arms, some hand holding, her resting her head on my shoulder, her telling her folks & friends about me, etc.) At one point, we kissed but she still claimed afterward that she wasn't feeling a "spark" still. We had an argument and everything ended thereafter (friendship included). She stated she wasn't feeling the same way as I was. She claimed that we "are in two different universes now". A week later we patch things up and are friends again but no longer dating. One night, she msged me twice looking to see where I was. Apparently, she was on a date but she didn't like the guy at all and he was touchy feely. She wanted me to go and get her. I never did. Why would she be telling me this? Anyhow, we spent the weekend watching tv, I cooked dinner for her, etc. Eventually, I head out because I am exhausted and she is near asleep. She tells me to let her know once I get home. When I do so, she texts back saying thank you for everything and that she was hoping I would stay with her overnight. I knocked out and didn't see the text until the next morning. By that time, she sent another text saying she wants to take back what she said because she was "half asleep". I don't buy it, I figure she's retracting the statement because of the fact I didn't reply sooner. Anyhow, she hits me up now and wants us to spend the night together. She even asks if I still have feelings for her and I tell her yes. Yet, she then tells me she doesn't want to hurt me. afterward, she tells me that the important thing to her is our friendship. I asked her about the sleepover today and she says it's crossed her mind at times but she feels it's not the best idea Because she doesn't want to "magnify my feelings". She says feelings complicates things in a negative way. She says that she is a clam and at times will open up and relax even tho she is closed in her natural state. She said if she does something, she wouldn't be comfortable with the idea later...then she tells me that she is complicated and doesn't want to hurt me. one day I commented her and told her how sexy she looked and how I liked her beautiful eyes and lovely smile...she ignored my comment. Days later, she wants us to go to the movies alone. (at one point she referred to me as a close friend and even says "she doesn't dig me") I go to her house and we have dinner. When we are at the theatre, we are holding hands before the movie even starts. Weird because earlier in the night she was playing the whole don't touch me because we aren't dating card. Thoughts on what she's thinking? I like this girl quite a bit. I swear she acts like she does too at times but she says she doesn't. What should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think she's confused and because of that Is playing with your emotions, I'd give her time and space alone until she gets herself together, she's taking you for a bit of a ride tbh.

    Answer mine, link

    • Confused on how she feels about me? It would explain why she was saying she's complicated and how she doesn't want me to get 'caught up' in her whirl wind. Should I wait for her to decide what she wants or simply move on and see if that sparks a reaction?

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    • Ok, I'll dial down on the communication as well. Am I cutting her off cold turkey for a while? Her graduation is coming up next month and her birthday is shortly right after.

    • No you don't need to cut her off completely just don't make yourself readily available to her, get busy do other things, find other people to hang out with. Go to her birthday for a bit then leave early. Things like that.

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