Should I initiate contact with my ex boyfriend?

Our last texting is all about my confession of love to him

saying nobody could replace him ever

and our last meeting

I gave him a handmade gift and smiled all the time without crying and begging

when I left he texted me that he wants me to move on and don't waste time on him anymore

it should be over to both of us

he believes I will live better without him and he said it can't go back

(I ignored his text and keep NC)

honestly I still feel sparks between us..

but I could be wrong

it has been NC for half month already

Should I NC forever until he hi me... Or initiate contact with him after a while? (if so, about how long for NC?)

FYI, the breaking up is mostly my fault


Most Helpful Guy

  • If both of you hurt each other too much, and if he doesn't consider it too bad to say that he hates you, then it is better off to not be with him. If you haven't fixed what went wrong the first time around, or changed the way you behave to make the first break-up, then getting back together will only lead to another break-up.

    If you thought you broke up and he didn't think it was a break-up, then he probably thought you cheated on him. And why would you see someone else just after a break-up? You have to be able to commit.

    If the breaking-up is mostly your fault, then he probably doesn't want to get back together with you because he doesn't want to get hurt.

    • that's the problem.. :( he somehow feel I cheated him because he didn't take all of his heartbreaking break up words serious...But I also admit I am wrong to start a new relationship that fast...

      In fact we broke up last year January already...but after a year and so, I really realize who is the love in my life...

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    • thanks :) so final conclusion is should I initiate contact with him if he didn't find me like in May/June? Move on or I initiate contact again?

    • Just live your life like normal. Don't contact him, unless he tries to contact you first. Just move on, because he has already made it clear, and you will make it harder for both of you if you can't let him go. If he tries to contact you, don't take it as a sign that he still wants to be with you.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Your fault? What did you do, then?

    Two weeks isn't long,give him a few more weeks and then try contacting him. Maybe he just needs time alone to think about what he wants from life...that happens.

    I'm sure you're right about the sparks still being don't give up so easily!

    • he broke my heart and broke up with me then I started a new relationship with a new guy, but he thought it was not a real break up (just argument in his mind) and he was desperate when he knew it

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    • You're welcome..good luck to you!

    • thank you :)

  • It seems that this guy has made it pretty clear that you two aren't going to get back together. You must move on. Even if the break-up was your fault, and somehow you convinced him to give you a second wouldn't have an evenly balanced relationship. He'd hold all of the cards. You just have to learn from this past relationship so that you don't make the same errors going forward.

    • he said both of us hurt each other too much, but I know we still have connection... :(

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    • You're just reading into the situation what you want to see. If he loved you, he'd want to be with you not pushing you away.

    • I know why he wanna push me away because he feels we don't match in personality

What Girls Said 2

  • If you already talked to him about this how sorry you are for things uve did and if you already told him that its a mistake you won't make again... Then- DONT CONTACT HIM! Trust me- there is not a mistake you can make or say that can throw away your love. If he loved you he will go over it and be with u. From what uve said- he just waited for you to make a mistake in order to give him an excuse for ending it up. Don't bother. Move on!

    I know- its hard. But I've been there- begged and explained everything I could. And he didn't want to go back. But then I saw my own sister and her husband having fights sometimes. But there- love would always win and theyd stick up together. You don't have to be perfect to love- you just have to be honest. And he wasn't hones. And wanted you to be perfect.

    • She said it was her fault that they broke up so I don't know where you pull this phantom info from that turns it all around on him like you said, "And he wanted you to be perfect". Uh no, says who? He said it's over and to move on. Sounds like he was being honest, gentle and straight forward with her, as well as considering her best interest. Not everything is the guys fault, appears to be what you think. That was a creative way to twist things around.

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    • Move on, please... His ego was just hurt! If he loved you nothing could stand between you two!

    • so you think I should not find him anymore? if he loves me he will find his way to come back? :(

  • Please, listen to what he says and move on. If one party does not want it to happen, it will never work. When you find someone crazy about you and you feel the same, you will be happier. I'm sorry about your breakup and I hope you feel better soon.

    • Seeing what you wrote in other comments, he said he hated you? That's not good. If he didn't take those words seriously, he probably was being immature. I can see why he'd be hurt if he didn't meant to break up with you and it sounded like it, and with such an intense argument I can see why you would rebound with another guy after YOU thought it was a breakup.

      Whatever happens, wait for him to contact you.

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    • in fact he said much more heartbreaking words to me face to face when I was crying my heart out...but sometimes when I think about it...was it my fault to take his words seriously and rebound

    • Anyone who purposely says things to hurt someone else is not ready for a relationship, IMO. I really don't blame you.